tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80348864785876159822024-03-12T21:53:07.314-07:00batemanpoetrybettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-65163090601745495402016-11-19T16:47:00.001-08:002016-11-19T17:08:23.955-08:002 poems for Leonard Cohen<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal;">
flamingos homage<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>after Leonard Cohen's “The Sweetest Little Song” from Book of Longing </div>
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“You go your way</div>
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I’ll go your way too”<span style="font-size: 7.3px; line-height: normal;"><sup></sup></span><br />
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you go my way<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Leonard I have loved you</div>
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i will go yours<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>like a mutt on a wire</div>
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you close windows<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Leonard I have loved you</div>
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i will close doors<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>like marshmallows on fire</div>
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you sing nightly<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>you have ruffled my feathers</div>
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to multitudes<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>you have soiled Yeat’s coat</div>
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i lisp lightly <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>you have made me Porphyria</div>
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in servitude<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>you have scoffed at my moat</div>
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i will be the real thing<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>this lady has loved you</div>
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you be the fake<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>his gender has fallen</div>
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you be the baker<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>she has traveled forever</div>
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let me be the cake<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>in Shallot’s wet gown</div>
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i have tried on clenched smiles but fit into a frown</div>
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you called yourself counterfeit<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>strapless and waning</div>
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I saw cold hard cash<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>like cocks cut from balls</div>
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your songs were rich blossoms<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>sequins in training</div>
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mine a sweet lilting rash<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>for the light of long halls</div>
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Leonard I have loved you<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>the slant of my rhyming</div>
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like a flamingo at high tide<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>has bent toward you</div>
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you growled softly<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>the monkeys you left me</div>
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I minced and I sighed<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>preferred your sad zoo</div>
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I call you priceless<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>the A’s and the B’s</div>
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in a bankrupt shop<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>the Z’s and the S’s</div>
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Tiffany’s breakfast<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>have met in your envelopes </div>
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was one hell of flop<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>enriching the trenches</div>
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>letters carved freely on rotting park benches</div>
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your lore as a ladies man<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>the alphabet moving</div>
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my life as blind date<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>in the palm of your hand</div>
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your days as a troubadour <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I am a better woman</div>
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death is far worse than fate<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>than I was as a man</div>
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i will sell myself short<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I dreamt of your shavings</div>
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you will rebuild your store<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>alone in the sink</div>
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if you were a pimp<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>the dark of shorn stubble</div>
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i would gladly be your whore<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>on white porcelain mink</div>
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i have heard men cannot suffer<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>but you went your way</div>
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in the that way we do<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>as mine went yours</div>
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but we have been at love’s odds <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I leapt from your windows</div>
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with the language of you<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>then knocked on your doors</div>
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>if you come back as your pimp <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I will come back as my whore</div>
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<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>you go my way <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I will go yours</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "papyrus"; font-size: xx-small;">13 lines of fire</span></div>
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adding ‘o’ to flaming</div>
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creating pink birds</div>
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blanched by the sunset </div>
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breaking away from the herd</div>
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free from the telling</div>
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the audible din</div>
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the deafening replica</div>
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the original sin</div>
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the soft fucshia swamp line</div>
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drowning the trees</div>
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the pale lavender grey</div>
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of colors competing</div>
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for the sun in a day…</div>
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-56970241361888522192016-11-08T11:00:00.001-08:002016-11-08T11:31:59.699-08:00<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 32px; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">Poppy on the Dock</span><br />
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Munro ro ro your boat gently down the stream</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Alice Alice Alice Alice</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><i><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-size: 12px;">Life is but a dream</span><span style="color: magenta; font-size: large;">*</span></i><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-size: 8px; line-height: normal;"><i><sup></sup></i></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">“Men came and went; it was nothing.”</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Madeleine Thien, Simple Recipes (73)</span></i></div>
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<span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span style="font-size: large;">*</span><span style="font-size: 12px;"> in Chaddeleys and Flemings, from The Moons of Jupiter, Alice Munro inserts a verse from Row Row Row Your Boat at two points in the narrative</span></span></span></div>
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<i>________________________________________</i></div>
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<i>Not much was made, really, of Poppy’s sexual tendencies. People may have thought he didn’t have any. When they said he was queer, they just meant queer; odd, freakish, disturbing. His stammer and his rolling eyes and his fat bum and his house full of throwaways were all rolled up into that one word…</i></div>
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<i>I never knew what my mother made of Poppy’s final disastrous luck, or what she knew about him…</i></div>
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<i>Then she said, “Poor Poppy. There were always those that were out to get him. He was very smart, in his way. Some people can’t survive in a place like this. It’s not permitted. No.</i></div>
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<i>To add his other problems he had both a lisp and a stammer. My mother could imitate him very well…</i></div>
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<i>Poppy went to jail for making advances on a train…Certainly it was not realistic to make suggestions to a couple of baseball players on the Stratford train…</i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> Alice Munro - Chaddeleys and Flemings, </i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> from The Moons of Jupiter, 1978</i></div>
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<i>________________________________________</i></div>
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Uncle Dag from Yonkers. Mother said she reminded him of a character from an Alice Munro story but she could never remember his name. But Dag, he loved antiques. Or so he thought. His fondness for old furniture in fact ran more toward the kitsch line. Pole lamps with huge plastic globes - dangling decorative planets lit up like big orange interstellar embolisms. Throw pillows the size of a large inner tube - like the ones from a small tractor abandoned on the country road on the way to the cottage. When Dag came to the lake for three days each summer he would bring a large pillow upholstered in waterproof fabric, usually a handsome stripe in plasticized earth tones, and he would place it on one of the various inner tubes in the boathouse and proceed to the dock. He would then carefully set the tube in the water, adjust the big pillow on top, then sit himself in the middle, and set sail. He would return a few hours later, red as a lobster and drunk as a skunk. </div>
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In a small paper bag that he put in his lap as he disembarked, paddling with his wide firm palms out into the bay, he would wave the bag and holler “it’s full of plums in case I get lost at sea.” If they were plums they were stewed - in liquor. </div>
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I remember, as a child, once hearing him say to my mother “The only difference between a gay man and a straight man is a bottle of bourbon.” I often wondered if that was why she eagerly fed my father so much booze whenever Dag was around. Did she want to test queer waters with her estranged spouse, or was she trying to matchmake dad and uncle Dag, liberating herself from a union that had gone sour early on. Who knows. It was a long time ago and they’re all gone and largely forgotten, except for the sayings and some of the songs,and the way they all seemed so uncommonly friendly when they were drinking.</div>
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Later in life I would frequently ask queer friends if they had ever heard the bourbon remark before, and many had, but no one seemed to be certain of its origin. Some attributed it to Truman Capote - but Capote has too often become the default mode for all things quaintly queer, faintly nostalgic, and largely undocumented. </div>
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So much time passed between Dag’s visits. Or so it seemed. It was an annual visit for a full five years before, as Dag put it, “the rain set in and the lake became treacherous and there was no more room for a fun-filled uncle to float among the waves” - biting into plums, singing the same song over and over again, lightly, to himself, and minding his own business. </div>
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Dag singing.He had a keen falsetto and the drunker he got the louder it became. By the time he floated back to the dock I would be sitting on a friendly log anxiously delighting in the chorus as he cried it out it over and over again.</div>
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<i>It's a long way to Tipperary,</i></div>
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<i>It's a long way to go.</i></div>
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<i>It's a long way to Tipperary</i></div>
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<i>To the sweetest girl I know!</i></div>
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<i>Goodbye, Piccadilly,</i></div>
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<i>Farewell, Leicester Square!</i></div>
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<i>It's a long long way to Tipperary,</i></div>
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<i>But my heart's right there.</i></div>
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And then he would go into what I learned years later was an alternate ending, a bawdy version of the chorus popular among soldiers in the first world war.</div>
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<i>That's the wrong way to tickle Harry,</i></div>
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<i>That's the wrong way to kiss.</i></div>
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<i>Don't you know that over here, lad</i></div>
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<i>They like it best like this.</i></div>
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<i>Hooray pour Les Français</i></div>
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<i>Farewell Angleterre</i></div>
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<i>We didn't know how to tickle Harry,</i></div>
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<i>But we learnt how over there.</i></div>
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Dag had replaced Mary with Harry, making the lyric his own queer ditty. He had all the affectations of the stereotype our family welcomed every summer. Mother would say to my father, “He’s on vacation. Let him behave any way he wants. He needs a break.” And father would comply, and they would all drink together, but when they were sober dad kept his distance in a friendly unobtrusive way while Mother, Dag, and me puttered around the cottage, had tea and sandwiches on the dock, swam, and just before sunset we each contributed to the preparation of the evening meal. Mother cooked, I made salad, and Dag entertained us with his drunken late afternoon chatter, and a few more verses of that song I came to love.</div>
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I sing it still. When I’m alone on the balcony, and I think of how handsome Dag was, how he looked like a slightly more refined version of my father. They were brothers of course, but had different adopted parents. Dag and dad were separated as infants, never knowing their birth families - and only found each other once they had come back from the war. Like Shakespeare or that old Greek myth. It was so clear how much they loved each other. And to try to tell their whole story would be far too difficult. Silently they swore me to secrecy with their loving eyes - whenever the opportunity arose. And Dag, he is the only memory of someone who never made fun of my lazy tongue, not even once, as a child. Although loving and patient, even my parents tried to cure me of a lisp that I have never conquered. And I thank Dag for that.</div>
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Despite the sour grapes that prolonged matrimony gave rise to, we were, for the most part, a happy open family, accepting Dag and all that came with him with unconditional kindness. But it was always like he was at the edge of the scene, just beyond the dock, threatening to float further out to sea, and so terribly good natured about it all. If he had known how hard people were on my parents about the three days he spent in summer, lounging about the cottage lot, floating through the afternoon, well, he would never have come again. And he didn’t. </div>
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It had been half a decade, from when I was nine until I was fourteen. Having forgotten so much, even the fine details of my perfectly lovely parents, it comes as a shock to me each time I find myself singing that alternate verse about tickling Harry. And only then does Dag come back to me in very fine detail, with all the missing scenes from my young life floating in and out of my consciousness as I reach into that bag and saturate myself with yet another silly drunken plum. And there he is, like Poppy, but on the dock, waiting precariously to find a place where he can float free of pre-conceived narrative and be just the way he wanted to be.</div>
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-33533277094380808002016-08-21T19:14:00.000-07:002016-08-21T19:49:30.538-07:00<div style="font-size: 18px; line-height: normal;">
<b><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">by the gender neutral washroom i sat down and wept </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>based on the following excerpts by</i><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(24, 24, 24);"><i> </i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/27487.Elizabeth_Smart"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(50, 51, 51);"><i>Elizabeth Smart</i></span></a><i>, from her long poem/novel</i></span></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/47924"><b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>By Grand Central Station I Sat Down and Wept</i><span style="line-height: normal;"><i></i></span></span></b></a></div>
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<i><b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">“Under the redwood tree my grave was laid, and I beguiled my true love to lie down. The stream of our kiss put a waterway around the world, where love like a refugee sailed in the last ship. My hair made a shroud, and kept the coyotes at bay while we wrote our cyphers with anatomy. The winds boomed triumph, our spines seemed overburdened, and our bones groaned like old trees, but a smile like a cobweb was fastened across the mouth of the cave of fate.</span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Fear will be a terrible fox at my vitals under my tunic of behaviour.</span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Oh, canary, sing out in the thunderstorm, prove your yellow pride. Give me a reason for courage or a way to be brave. But nothing tangible comes to rescue my besieged sanity, and I cannot decipher the code of the eucalyptus thumping on my roof.</span></b></i></div>
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<i><b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I am unnerved by the opponents of God, and God is out of earshot. I must spin good ghosts out of my hope to oppose the hordes at my window. If those who look in see me condescend to barricade the door, they will know too much and crowd in to overcome me.”</span></b></i></div>
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<b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The parchment philosopher has no traffic with the night, and no conception of the price of love. With smoky circles of thought he tries to combat the fog, and with anagrams to defeat anatomy. I posture in vain with his weapons, even though I am balmed with his nicotine herbs.</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Moon, moon, rise in the sky to be a reminder of comfort and the hour when I was brave.”</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">___________________________________________________________________</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">"</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I have learned to smoke because I need something to hold onto."</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138; font-size: xx-small;"><i><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> Elizabeth Smart</span></i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDL527iSdmDcJxo-JCC_PGJrPI9TJXklxddfcPupnatxwgCtNUxSlK5zJFjU-jgdWM8T_1FORxU_DWM6WMyQBHS8cxS2CtufS2oM3X-CA6bSwSln8fD_pDVz7MQW1Yz2m8Ee09wQQxKiw/s1600/fey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDL527iSdmDcJxo-JCC_PGJrPI9TJXklxddfcPupnatxwgCtNUxSlK5zJFjU-jgdWM8T_1FORxU_DWM6WMyQBHS8cxS2CtufS2oM3X-CA6bSwSln8fD_pDVz7MQW1Yz2m8Ee09wQQxKiw/s640/fey.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I learned to have sex with strangers</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I needed something to hold onto</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">among buttercups daisies snapping turtles sumach trillium </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">lit by cancerous sun my tomb was laid </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">beguiled by true love I reclined in poison ivy</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">by streams kisses as waterways wrapping my world</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">loves xenophobic warriors sailing in the last slave ships</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">intersective strokes through my blonde hair made a blue-eyed veil</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">keeping lightness at bay I wrote missives in my heart </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">that blew like winds boorish triumph</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">my backbone bent by uncoiled limpet spines </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">overburdening my bones groaning like young sap </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">wrought from petrified </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">yet willing limbs </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">a ghosted smile locked against his mouth’s </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">manly cave falling into heavens lips </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">terrible foxy flesh licked at my vitals </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">terrific beneath a tunic of behavioural prowess</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Oh barren budgie - laugh, cry out, in the storm’s last hollow</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">be proud and flecked with yellow - blue with feathery shards of green</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">sing like birds in pursuit of nothing</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">gaining everything from flight</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">give me the why the how and when of courage</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">bravery resistance in the face of his tanned hips</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">no tangible resource rescued my slim adolescent sanity - </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I will not decipher codes that weeping willows thump upon </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">my roof will be my ladder out of heaven </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">into snake’s bold meadow unnerved by God’s lovers</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(24, 24, 24); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">God may </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-size: 14px;">favour </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(24, 24, 24); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;"> tone deaf throngs </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(24, 24, 24); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-size: 14px;">cannot hear the queer forest for the zany trees </span></span></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I will spin good ghosts out of hope </span><br />
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">opposing hordes at my window</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">If those who look in see his lust barricading my door </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">they will know too little and damn me for my mis-confession </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">crowding in to overcome me with their parchment sayings</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">i prefer the traffic of the night </span><br />
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">as dark as my conception </span><br />
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">of the price of love</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; min-height: 17px;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">smoky circles of thought combat the mist I weep </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">in jets of intermittent spray anagrams to defeat </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">the linguistic pleasure of anatomy - </span><br />
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Lana, Anal, Ana, An, Alan, Al, Alana, Anala </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">they hear her pronouns call </span><br />
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">in them in him</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; min-height: 17px;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I pose with verbal weapons he divined me with</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">bombed by his nicotine herbs - moon, moon, rise</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal; min-height: 17px;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">be a comforting reminder of those seconds </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">when no one thought I was brave </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 14px; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">when I learned to smoke and fuck </span></div>
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<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I would have nothing to hold on to</span></div>
<span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
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bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-1204160062346232142016-06-01T14:27:00.003-07:002016-06-01T14:27:32.775-07:00whine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPfapBBBQfIX3-zCLv5JgsTTgouEMiytHlW-TazaPAmNDCEzjMWAlwu1BEtfYt7-y6IsCK9TXP5jAeurm-rb_Ab9b5_ZQTkJF-w-P8PZce2pfA_b-wEx68fxVZVMpc0UwcihowpfVBTYA/s1600/whine+color.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPfapBBBQfIX3-zCLv5JgsTTgouEMiytHlW-TazaPAmNDCEzjMWAlwu1BEtfYt7-y6IsCK9TXP5jAeurm-rb_Ab9b5_ZQTkJF-w-P8PZce2pfA_b-wEx68fxVZVMpc0UwcihowpfVBTYA/s640/whine+color.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
<br />bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-55325392004534214992016-05-21T21:41:00.000-07:002016-05-22T07:09:12.256-07:00when i thought i was a mango . . .<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">When I thought I was a Mango... </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #e69138;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>in a most delightful way…”</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138;"> Mary Poppins</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>“I ponder and I cannot ponder, yet I live and love.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>William Blak</span><span style="color: #e69138;">e</span></div>
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<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">On a warm sunny Wednesday in March, when the weather suited global warming to a tee, he took his small shopping buggy from the balcony and set out for the food bank. Only a few blocks from his apartment, this particular food bank specialized in healthy items that came in containers ranging from plastic freezer airtight bags to small meat bearing styrofoam platters, cardboard boxes, foil wrappers, and glass jars. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">He always looked forward to eating the two or three miniature granola bars on his way home, after judiciously making his selection of mostly non-perishable goods. He always marvelled at how something that appeared to be so nutritious - ‘Nature’s Choice’ - could come in such a shiny unnatural looking wrapper. If he saved enough of them he could turn them inside out and cover his bathroom wall with a glistening silver coating and then hang pictures of celebrities all over the wall, turning his latrine into a modest shrine for the silver screen.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">In the waiting area at the food bank there was always a transparent, dome covered plastic tray filled with hot cross buns, danishes, brownies, cinnamon wedges, butter tarts, and assorted donuts of the delicious kind. They were all cut into bite-sized portions and had a crumbling nostalgic air about them that spoke of slightly better days. But they were delicious.There were metal prongs and napkins to keep the delicacies safe from germ warfare, and a large canister of hot coffee sat on a table nearby, with powdered milk and a box of sugar to help the medicine go down. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">He put his buggy beside his chair and went over to the reception desk to check in. Stating his name and answering one simple question was always enough. They never asked for ID because he had registered several years ago and was in the computer system. They trusted him. But he always took ID with him just in case. One would not want to be caught with their pants down and no conceivable way of identifying one’s self in such a welcoming atmosphere. The pants down metaphor seemed appropriate because he, and perhaps some others, were only eligible for this particular food bank because they had, through no fault of their own, been caught with their trousers to the floor one too many times.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">The simple question the receptionist always asked was; “Do you have any pets?” He would pause for a second, considering what he might do with the jars of cat food or doggy kibble. Perhaps he could sell them, or mix them with a rich salty stew that would conceal their true identity? And then he would think better of his thrifty capitalist ways and reply, “No. But thank you.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">Then he would take one or two selections from the pastry tray, fill a styrofoam cup with coffee, add some powdered milk and a touch of sugar, and sit back down to wait until his fruit or vegetable was called. it wasn't a long wait, and the variety of colourful laminated fruit and veggie bearing cards made it fun;</span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Apples</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Bananas</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Blackberries</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Cantaloupes</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Dates</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Fennels</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Gingers</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Jalapeños</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Kiwi</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Limes</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Mangoes</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Okras</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Peaches</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Pumpkins</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Radicchios</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Yams</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Zucchinis</span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">He would often arrive shortly after two. The bank was open from two until seven. By the time he arrived they would be as far along as Cantaloupes. He would receive a Fennels laminated card and wait until his group of three or four was called. Once, when he arrived earlier than usual, he was a Date, and knew that the usual gag would be played as soon as the Dates were called.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">“Dates anyone? Any Dates?”</span><br />
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDB6Ap4IoXJiHmYTLfYWWfve_ZSJsMdFjxUU0PortisGKQ5c4GibnBkOkhUkEDnLiQ_A2KojDCFC4BpUNjIHqH64XlN3sKMA7fP4OH5U-rp3vD3dGct5eA5F89C8i1rmoMCSXwaM4UHhQ/s1600/dates-625_625x350_71450963289.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDB6Ap4IoXJiHmYTLfYWWfve_ZSJsMdFjxUU0PortisGKQ5c4GibnBkOkhUkEDnLiQ_A2KojDCFC4BpUNjIHqH64XlN3sKMA7fP4OH5U-rp3vD3dGct5eA5F89C8i1rmoMCSXwaM4UHhQ/s640/dates-625_625x350_71450963289.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">Inevitably someone would laugh and say something along the lines of, “I’d love to. Haven’t been on a date in ages.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">But on this particularly warm Wednesday in March he arrived well after two, missed the Dates, and thought he was a mango. He took his card, walked over to his chair, sat down and saw a familiar face in a wheelchair. Noticing that his close acquaintance also had a mango card he said, “I’ve never been a Mango before. I’m usually a Fennel.” His friend smiled but said nothing. Apart from the Dates, not much was made of the other fruits and vegetables in the area of small talk. So he just sat - sipping coffee and nibbling at the ragged corner of a hot cross bun - and waited for the Mangoes to to be herded down to the selection area.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">Consumed by a commingling of good cheer and slight melancholy - a mixture of emotion that invariably held him somewhere between a subtle smile and a face that was holding back tears - he noticed that the attendant who was passing out the laminated cards looked quite agitated. He could overhear him explaining to an assistant that the fruit and vegetable cards were all mixed up, and that he was sending down all wrong groups in all the wrong order. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">How hard could it be to have noticed that, he thought, and just sort them properly, in alphabetical order. But it wasn’t his place to make any sort of suggestion as to how organizing principles might be applied in such a setting. So he sat patiently, watching the names of each fruit or vegetable come and go on the pixel board above the reception desk - in the wrong order - wondering anxiously if his Mango would ever come up.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">After several minutes had passed he went up to the desk and politely asked if his fruit had risen. The confused receptionist asked what fruit he was and when he said Mango, he told him to go ahead - the Mangoes had already been called. So he left the reception area and walked briskly toward the stairwell to the bank. On his way he saw the assistant who had been taking the groups down the stairs to the area where the shelves of dry goods, and freezers filled with assorted frozen meats were kept. He looked at him, smiled, and said - “I think the fruits and vegetables got a little mixed up today. I was told to go ahead.” The assistant looked at his card and said, politely but somewhat abruptly - “No. I’ll call you when it’s time.” </span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">A little bewildered, he walked back to the waiting area - and waited. As he sat, for about five minutes, he kept looking at the pixel board and could not make head nor tail of how things were being re-organized. The mangoes had already gone and the order seemed to have been re-established on the pixel board. And then, after several seconds of low level anxiety marked by his signature tendency to fluctuate between a faint smile and suppressed tears, he looked at his laminated card, and much to his surprise, and embarrassment, he was not a Mango at all. He was a Pumpkin. Of course Cinderella immediately popped into his mind with the change from M to P. Suppressing images of little white mice sewing spectacular gowns and singing bibbidy bobbidy boo, he made a quick decision not to dwell upon the cliched fairy tale proportions of the mixup. Instead he sat and waited patiently until the Pumpkins were called, during which time he pondered, til he could not ponder, how this could have happened. He was certain he had been a Mango. And then, at the height of his low level anxiety, he looked at the camera option on his cell phone, remembering that he had taken a photo of his card soon after arriving, so he could write a little story about this particular food bank one day - about the delightful and efficient alphabetical manner in which they organized their patrons into groups of fruits and vegetables.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #c27ba0;">Yes, Indeed. Cameras seldom lie. He had always been a Pumpkin, and when he chatted with the close acquaintance in the wheelchair, and noticed that his card said Mango, he must have simply assumed he was one too because the colours of the cards depicting the very different fruits were so similar. </span></div>
<span style="color: #c27ba0;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<span style="color: #c27ba0;">It all made perfect sense, because he knew, in his heart, he had always been a blighted princess. So it seemed fitting, after all this time - some sixty odd years - that he would one day find himself, at the PWA food bank (strictly serving a community of people living with HIV and AIDS) abruptly turning back into a Pumpkin.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIs5yty9kn1LIN6Lb_KumT6Nf2mCxnH4I76o7TntIvfNbzLEZ4PJ-8MqPXaOnUzSM9_zuHUSnpDpmoxSjfGKveP0uKqHwjFW6dX7Rj7DXSnFN2910NfCxLS_aKA3KtUdITfTrM-zO8gWU/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="398" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIs5yty9kn1LIN6Lb_KumT6Nf2mCxnH4I76o7TntIvfNbzLEZ4PJ-8MqPXaOnUzSM9_zuHUSnpDpmoxSjfGKveP0uKqHwjFW6dX7Rj7DXSnFN2910NfCxLS_aKA3KtUdITfTrM-zO8gWU/s640/images-1.jpeg" width="640" /></a></div>
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bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-87483197434873402742015-06-21T12:04:00.000-07:002015-06-21T12:04:26.040-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>father’s day </i><i><span style="font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have your body / hide & seek<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdGZ5N0lhEs5KvEzf-UqTRdwHFSqVQ_4_uBVsXQyXW704-bTjdHai9u0fMFaKfywHf3FWNhTIyAkz0mqLf72X3VS0t3pK1WPjBVzQ_pZAjPWam1vxZGNOigmzcz76nBDTlRfPG6TRNyWI/s1600/dad+in+boat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdGZ5N0lhEs5KvEzf-UqTRdwHFSqVQ_4_uBVsXQyXW704-bTjdHai9u0fMFaKfywHf3FWNhTIyAkz0mqLf72X3VS0t3pK1WPjBVzQ_pZAjPWam1vxZGNOigmzcz76nBDTlRfPG6TRNyWI/s320/dad+in+boat.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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I have your body</div>
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Masculinity is hidden there – in mine</div>
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In yours it’s sought it sweeps it curves with </div>
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Predicated beauty </div>
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Gracing and disgracing some men’s organs and the</div>
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Arms of certain privilege</div>
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<br /></div>
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But I still have your body</div>
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The gentle swagger in yours</div>
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A droll mince in mine</div>
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Your height is there, in moderation – </div>
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I struggle with your lows</div>
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But they amuse me – their imbibing nature <span style="font-size: 9.0pt; line-height: 115%;">make me love harder stronger fast<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Keeps me guarded from </div>
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The speech of those detractors</div>
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Roaming streets in search of bidden gender to defile</div>
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<br /></div>
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But I have your body - to protect my gait</div>
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From the wrath of
deconstruction</div>
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It was built for you through generations of</div>
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Manly presence – by the time I received that gift</div>
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Shaded in the bough of your lover’s leafy frame <span style="font-size: x-small;">on father’s day we’ll think of her</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Because I have her body too</div>
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But some see it wander mimic play -</div>
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Mince and swagger high and low</div>
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The gentle - droll foundations</div>
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Set upon the ways in which we have our bodies –</div>
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<br /></div>
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I have yours – inscribed </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
On mine</div>
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-76356709082630409462015-05-26T13:16:00.001-07:002015-05-26T15:37:25.161-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>queer play Cawthra Park<o:p></o:p></i><br />
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
thrashing, scurrying among rose bushes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
missing thorns, oblivious to my guiding calls</div>
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suddenly sprinkler jets jut out into the path</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shout for him to run</div>
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to be careful in this
stream of prickly stems and unadulterated water spouts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
austere columns invite a toddlers twisting in and out of unintended jungle gyms</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
memorials flanking one side of the children’s water park and
the community centre</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
he runs his smile wider than parental breadth</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
grins and thanks me for saving him from the deluge<i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
like wild remembered smiles from those columns – the ghosted
names of friends who went too soon</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
playgrounds bookended
by a dearth of generational sway stolen from girls becoming women boys </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
becoming men, becoming women, becoming men - making way</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
for the hard won play of new queer youth and all they have
to say</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<i>grave</i><br />
<br />
an effeminate old man walks by the site</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
where they laughed at large cysts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
on the side of a bald mourners head</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
burying faces in Nana’s seal coat</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
tears mistaken for bereavement</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
when shame from childish laughter</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
at the unassuming comic matrix of skull and tumor-like ball</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
covered in breeze swept wisps of graying hair</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
causes them to cry away their wild childish smiles</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the soft sleek touch of a dead animal’s fur on their cheeks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
as they flank their grandmother’s comforting arms as she
mourns a dead sister</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
mistaking her grandsons’ masked glee for sadness </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
later they would lie, side by side in broken twin bunks
toppled by the raucous</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
love for the sinew of their nine year old flesh and bone battling
against each other</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in soft little fist fights and tight wrestling arms</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
he taught you how to fold toilet paper in squares saving wasted tissue</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
for other movements –
gave you courage in the face of his own
masculinity</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
as it outgrew the lifelong femininity of your fey measured
gait - sweet lisp of</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
strolling in and out of family portraits meant for gendered
posterity</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
both boys among strong women managing men among post
war tears</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and the hegemonic daze of re-established prowess in a
different coat</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
tiny rebels with
unclipped claws – unaware of the clichés
that bound them</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to the signifying praxis – the lazy laughter of family
plots where dead relatives lay in
waiting</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to tell the stories - too
afraid to share tales of other traps and snares</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
mingling among puzzled thoughts that mix with joy and sorrow</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
circling cavities containing liquid secretions – growth,
blister, vesicle, bleb</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
pelts collated - conger eel, cuttlefish, coral - pups </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in raging juvenilia - hormones leaping - they stood by
graves to chuckle, weep, then lie</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
together aptly plying into adolescence – now he cries for
unknown pasts -</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
there beside that dugout
respite</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
from the playgrounds, rolls of tissue, you still long for
shadows</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of his stylish manhood – him for your minced swagger - one
went out of fashion – flushed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
through centuries of bodies laughed at through skin and bone</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the sobbing lyric
limbs – limp and wan they warned them not to play with verse</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
but there they went – hopping skipping jumping into manhood
- graveside<br />
having left themselves behind . . .</div>
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-65049321713422770962015-05-19T22:21:00.002-07:002015-05-26T13:09:57.152-07:00Pedal Extremities <div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Pedal Extremities or<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: .5in;">
<i> honeymoon in a hot tub<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
cradling the ball of one foot</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
upon the warmth of his testicles</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
as they rest in his lap</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
big toe & long toe</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
gently join forces</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
creating gradual force</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
around his penis</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
unrequited love</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
like vise without grip</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
he suddenly rises</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the ends of two toes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
pinch the flesh of his sac</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
he flinches, smiles</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
sits back down</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the courtship is over</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
the honeymoon begins…
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>____________________________</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-7498411149452236372015-02-08T13:03:00.000-08:002015-03-30T14:13:41.338-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #8e7cc3;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">sonnets from the trampoline - </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">after Elizabeth Barrett Browning</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;">
</span><!--StartFragment--></span></span></span></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999; font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">
<!--StartFragment-->
</span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999; font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999; font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999; font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999; font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">
<!--StartFragment-->
</span></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d9d2e9;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">I</span><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">I thought once how my weary heart had sprung,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">from the sweet fears, the queer and dishy years, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where each one in a specious palm adheres<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">To manicure gay gods from portals, orifices shunned: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">And, as my lips lapped up his tongue, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">I felt, in gaudy frisson, by his tears, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">His cheek, that tremor - mirth and folly sears -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Chosen from my long life, among the taut, well-hung<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">A shaded ball to cross me. Shadows make me
leer, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Branches limbs, tawny leafless boughs behoove<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Staring hearts, they tug my blanched groin by hairs; <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Rapid counter tenors, faster, sung the
groves,—<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">“High notes that bind thee!”—“Death,” I shriek, yet,
still, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">A singing hyphen sprang from meadows slung <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">- castration’s hum - “No Death without love’s
trampoline -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">that crinoline, those tights, that gutless
drum.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">II</span><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">When threesomes in diversity converse<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hearing soft moans but nothing worse, -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Having held thread counted sheets at bay in<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Titillation’s singsong dread —themselves, astride each
other<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> The I of me stops listening! Just sighs<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">All three . . . in company with goddesses, . . . we
brand with terse<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Undarkened lashes, unrehearsed <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Our sights set on monogamy’s great lie, from seeing
thee,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">In his repose—that if I had lied,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> The heavy-hearted depths, set up, torn down, to
signify what<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> No resolute exclusivity allows - “Alas” ‘tis
worse - those vows!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">From Dionysian bawds in training bras<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Drag Queens may sift us through their burly bars, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Oceans tempt us, rivulets will bend; <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Six palms will touch our hips our thighs our songs: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Elysian cars from death, desire and streetwise ends<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Bowl out between our mixed maddening request <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">To make ménages à trois the disbelief we shall suspend<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">III</span><span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">The likes, the likes, O mincing heart! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Bespeaking fate and destiny. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Deities attend aghast by withered looks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">That pose that other stance that thwarted wink<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Passing ships bethinking night<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">As quests with royal countenance rub shoulders<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Gaging that, then this, so many sparkling eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Then tears from those who cannot play their part<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">As hired harpists strum, soft killing, hearts strung.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">What trellis were those tissue poesies from, among<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">The down the out meandering in rented tux<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Darkness bends upon a sequined tree<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Consecrating ‘myrhh’ on hand in little vials<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Life shuffles hallowed galas where we meet<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Try not to leave that ugly slipper at the ball.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">IV</span><span style="color: white; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Thongs hast slid along the sauna floor,<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Once trophied bodies of the odes have fallen<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Dance into new light fleeing from the glare<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">That braces confidence in this hypnotic lair.<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">The grouting, tiles, the lichen covered walls<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">
Towels toiletries HD TV - thy texts 'n calls
<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Let down ye guard aged fellow lie with me<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">In holds rememb’ring fulsome arms of gold<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Away, look look, away, the steam conceals<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Wrinkles flesh love’s handles unrevealed<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">A chirrup creaks within inserted digits<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Shhhh, love's fisted spoon may thee deliver<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> And solitude’s last warning speaks within<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">No more sobbing for what was never sinning’s sin<span style="color: white;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">V<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Feather weighted sighs and sultry grins<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Becoming mourning in dire vessels that begin.<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Drink up, the drops remaining can be yours,<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Before the spilling starts to tarnish toes.<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Look look, such loads of weatherbeaten prose, <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Cocks atop veins in wind that wildy spurns <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Through flakes of dust and ash your instep heightens,
turns -<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Stilletos break dull tedium, and that modern talk of
being purple, being rare<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">It may well be. Yet other strident blows thou takes
instead -<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">That job where breezes come and go - Upswept, down
turned<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Tresses of discourse curl above our heads, <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Beloved savant, idiotic to the extreme, <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">No more shielding than some sun-scorched dream<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">The follicles of foundations, snares, have set<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Get thee to convents where on site salons beget<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">VI<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Don’t leave. Stay. Stand still. The doorman bars you
from the gate. <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Never go. My shadow will follow you - No - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">stalk is such an ugly noun: It sits in unlocked
clauses, cells, waiting to be bound<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Walk in, the purses, wigs, the leotards and crappy
chandeliers - the Carpenter has gone - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Boas, C cups, Madonna nightlights, buttboys crave your
path and presence <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Mary, His mother, wants you to stay with me - Calmly
- <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">swung low in the bright red drizzle - Just like before
-<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> Sans that special frown you always wore -<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Porphyria loves you, and that last Duchess; when your
name is called in precincts - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">shudders - she doesn’t live here anymore <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">but visits often and brings gifts, she loved you too.<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">VII<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> His cheek was turned when planets spun, one thought<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Once in awhile his other side would smile<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">But stars, still shooting - as he hid that grin<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Caught twixt those lips like moons, tra la - Alas<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">The cheek he turned was utterly half-assed<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Expressions of false sorrow relied upon a legacy<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Apace with maudlin revelry - cups of sweet regret<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">He drank the life of many with that grin<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Some praised the vapid sweetness, far, and near<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Some saw the wily way he handled queer<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">For where the shadow of that smile began<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Was not the property of any man<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">And this . . . this smile we all loved for days before
we knew<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">With winged devils, and their famed cohorts - he flew<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">VIII<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> The flowers were beheaded, the fur burned<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">The watch, encrusted with the finest gems<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Was pawned without a second thought - one guesses<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">That the chartreuse cashmere sweater was enveloped<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">By the same news print that held the fish and chips
- <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">then tossed - he took his leave through the back
door <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">In trousers stolen from the pool boy<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">No thanks, no loss, no gain, no recompense<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Gifts to him - expendable, t’was cash<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">He rifled through the dresser drawers to find<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">All he found were dead ants and lady bugs<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">An empty can of Rolling Rock and a card from Uncle
Doug<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">What made him think you had a penny to your name<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">When he smiled across that bar, high on cheap
champagne<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Trampled pillows in his wrecked wake recoil<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;">Your bankrupt heart reclines on tear soaked spoils<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">IX<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;"> That dress you dreamt from butterflies - pretend men
wed you </span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">In chrysalis suits - your wings askew - museum pins
fell from thorax hems</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">the bodice old, the lace anew - Cinderella grinned -</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Your smile borrowed from heaven - wearing azure -
surreal blue </span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Some wedding daze - unrealized, except for the
hors-d'oeuvres -</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Ceviche, lamb strips, arugula, lobster bisque in
flutes, alphabet gazpacho -</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Third vowel enveloped by two consonants in cahoots</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">While the density of bones would not withstand your
favorite boots</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Those honeycombing tablets, cocktails you cannot avoid</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Knowing no one would insure you - not even Uncle Lloyd</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">After all he borrowed - just before his sullied liver
flew him off</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">He asked why firm gods forsake him but they still love
you -</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">You gazed so - placid - into puddled eyes - told him</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">One God loves him - flaccid - hard wrung confessions
heard his cry</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">X<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Touch me, on the broadest part of my chafed uncut stem
- Pretend - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">We are flowers, dresses, we depend on petals, roots,
and hems<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;"> My heart is fine when you are behind bars, yet
near - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Our lips queer passion’s profile, pulsating with dual
throbs - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">one part romance, one part Campari as we writhe <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">in wild mauve fury by that beer stained, earmarked shot
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">of Dali and Amanda Lear - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">What? - more bad rhymes, slanting dropped names and
couplets <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">like we used to do? Judge Judy left the room <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">but not before the threat - she’d sue <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">- if I didn’t get enough of you.<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">I dream, peel grapes, gulp the best cheap Spinello by
the jug - <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Pishaw, don’t try to stop me now, I’ll be that ten
dollar pushover for any thug like you<span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">If there was a single God instead of many <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">he’d change his sex and love you back again <span style="color: #d89b9b;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Into thine eyes and drink the tears of sweetness I will
chug - no, not a lug <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">when ‘ere I stagger blithely back to you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">XI<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Indeed, that love they boast is not half bad,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Risen from adulterous breast and brow,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Both wore tiaras upon their sullied crowns<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Drawing hubris from their lips and eyes,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">That love they boast, the utter strength of pride,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Denying past love’s graceless fall from where<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Those set poses, grafted from another couple’s bliss<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Once as earnest in their love as you in yours -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">That love was love - that was their due course.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Words escape as speech remains unspoken,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Broken are the hearts, the rings the tokens.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">When love is good great love rushes in to dwell -<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Souls rush out and fallen morals giggle<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">As placing love upon that single throne<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Speaks for meek throats worn out by one love’s hold.</span><span style="color: #d89b9b; font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 10.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">XII<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Well, if love abandons all then take love’s lead<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Forsake unworthy suitors with wan cheeks<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Like pale roses in the winter sun<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Underneath sweet atrium’s panoramic view<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Exhausted violinists wander through the indoor park<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Where nightingales and larks are hidden<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">From beloved cages spent of bars<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Because the gilded frames were never stolen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">From under suns less grazed by growth and pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Renounce the face of earth you’ve come to sit on<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Live still on love that never dares to writhe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Bold; font-size: 10.0pt;">Among the hothouse lilies, petals, butterflies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 48.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 16.0pt;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 8.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: 8.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 48pt; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times-Roman; font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; margin-left: 24.0pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: justify; text-autospace: none;">
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bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-83143164135779747932014-12-11T23:51:00.003-08:002014-12-12T00:10:29.093-08:00winter haiku <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxH17LJJP4BwLJZwr1ZTrn_WdwRp5Bb0E64Nc99pDlPlfG84ySQBN2x7_AtWyMrT_5pfyovNvMlY_S_RuiW8-q6TlPmTv04NlyDYdY12QgsGstWL3hlHzd7nxBbk6Gi-9RHy1q8bg3Eb0/s1600/snow+angel+.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxH17LJJP4BwLJZwr1ZTrn_WdwRp5Bb0E64Nc99pDlPlfG84ySQBN2x7_AtWyMrT_5pfyovNvMlY_S_RuiW8-q6TlPmTv04NlyDYdY12QgsGstWL3hlHzd7nxBbk6Gi-9RHy1q8bg3Eb0/s1600/snow+angel+.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #76a5af;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>
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</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #76a5af;"><i></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #76a5af;"><i><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 48.0pt;">when a friendship
fails<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 48.0pt;">Angels scatter
kisses on<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 48.0pt;">the tips of
icebergs<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Edwardian Script ITC';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 64px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Edwardian Script ITC"; font-size: 48.0pt;">
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bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-63541429462522249392014-10-05T11:30:00.004-07:002014-10-05T12:27:35.305-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCl67eQyXA9YwfzGQxPZsBle08eYRoX-HX7guWeHRPbsvvFqakyH6KZo6jM2bwzezGu_B9rgzfhoPlJ9t6KnXX9iiZ3OaoLuhZNZNg7i66HVFmbVcK4faN_SZFiG7B2TatBLZWhBtNmxE/s1600/The_Persistence_of_Memory.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCl67eQyXA9YwfzGQxPZsBle08eYRoX-HX7guWeHRPbsvvFqakyH6KZo6jM2bwzezGu_B9rgzfhoPlJ9t6KnXX9iiZ3OaoLuhZNZNg7i66HVFmbVcK4faN_SZFiG7B2TatBLZWhBtNmxE/s1600/The_Persistence_of_Memory.jpg" height="470" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;"><i>the persistence of memory, Salvador Dali</i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;"><i></i></span><br />
<i><div class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><i>mapping</i></span></div>
</div>
</i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #7f6000;"><i>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i></i></span><br />
<i><div class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i></i></span></div>
<i><div class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">The marks on a body are the marks on a map. They tell you</span></span></div>
</div>
</i></div>
</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">where you have been, and how to get home again so that you can stop</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">going round inside yourself. Look down at the map. Look up at the </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">sky. Where is the sun? Now walk. Make a new pathway, walk out of the</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">forest...</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> land of horror and sweetness...</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"> Ann-Marie
MacDonald, Adult Onse</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">t</span></span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i></i></span><br />
<i><div class="MsoNormal" style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">when the forest is a map you
failed to learn</span></span></div>
</div>
</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">and those distended days of
whining roses<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">surreal in the constructed
vase of time<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">melting into fey insatiate
poses<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">geographies of countries
primed for peace<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">for worlds where war is served
up daily<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">while flowers weight doves down from burning skies</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">high as bulletproof kites
when windfall fails to cease<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">petals as the love me love me
not of bald desire<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">desert sands as grainy
trees of cookied fortune<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">lust as monstrous notion peeking into fire<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Narcissus as the lisp lined friend you
fail to notice<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">recognizing love as something
blighted<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">constructed raw from shell’s
exploded bliss<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">as multi-gendered lies we
build on fading beaches<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">unnaming that of us then
we then they then this<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">navigating scars that
bleed through stitches<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">finding other routes from
there to here<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">queering broken heart’s
grotesque predictions<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">a dream of sleep beyond the
braying ditch<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">what when the with of why
begins to wear<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">thin remains of fabrics
worn to dirt<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">what hurt of how and who and
when to witness<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">where will the whence of
wanton make you cry<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">on high as bulletproof kites
where windfall fails to cease<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">petals pushing doves from
burning skies</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">word weary war torn
smorgasbords of verbs served daily<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">syntactic maps of
hungry buried bodies <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">look up look down <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">the grimy sky’s been primed
for peace<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">while heaven’s false promise
hides in sunny paths<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">the cloudy frown of hope
smiles through the laugh lined crease</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
</i></span>bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-41864358150293779222014-10-04T13:59:00.001-07:002014-10-05T07:46:46.790-07:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">transitory<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">The onanist picked up a transfer that was lying on the floor of the streetcar. Pressing it between his thumb and forefinger, he began to think of the last time he had spilled his seed. There had been an anti-climax but the events leading up to the end were quite provocative.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNhClhcwZvlHTBJ-zXA3fLepxYSIwUlqYdZ7t99tOCppB9jNrp9Ab70gi_Qm1vqPKd-3UPXFB9ley2Fx9i7_odyaM-87rOpDdkS_wRj6_eCQt9DJOoEqzAsp10ypKkwbPxTp0IwTVkUvQ/s1600/PA050145.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNhClhcwZvlHTBJ-zXA3fLepxYSIwUlqYdZ7t99tOCppB9jNrp9Ab70gi_Qm1vqPKd-3UPXFB9ley2Fx9i7_odyaM-87rOpDdkS_wRj6_eCQt9DJOoEqzAsp10ypKkwbPxTp0IwTVkUvQ/s1600/PA050145.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">After pondering the limp ending for a few moments he remembered another story, one that his mother had narrated, of a young man who would not do as his father had told him, and he went blind. It frightened him as a child, and then later, as a teenager, he worked in a movie theatre as an usher. It was 1974 and a British comedy came to town called </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">If You Don't Stop It You'll Go Blind. </span></i><span style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">He saw the film several times, standing at the back of the theatre. It was filled with sketch comedy scenes of old ladies espousing profane activities, gay cowboys entangled in compromising acts, and competitive sex contests filled with horny blokes and well-endowed beauty queens - among other things.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">He was twenty at the time and a late bloomer. A late bloomer who had found himself in a variety of compromising positions. Once he stood at the urinal in the men’s washroom of the Odeon Theatre, where he worked for a year just before his father died, and he saw a man playing with himself and looking straight down into the porcelain altar. He went back to his post at the back of the theatre and reminisced briefly about the size of the stranger’s assertive member. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">A few years later the film was followed by a sequel, </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">Can I Do It 'Till I Need Glasses? </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">He never saw that one, and didn’t need glasses himself until he was in his late forties. By the time he reached his mid-fifties he was buying cheap reading glasses at the dollar store. When he was fifty-eight he had graduated from a two hundred lens to three hundred and fifty. When he watched porn on his laptop he left his glasses on. But when he actually took part in auto-erotic acts without the support of moving images his spectacles were left on the bedside table.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">As the sleek twenty-first-century streetcar sailed along with seamless agility, so unlike the rattling old streetcars he first rode in the nineteen seventies, he pressed the filthy transfer softly between his fingers and started to become self-conscious about the filth and germs that must be all over the little slip of grey’ish paper. So he dropped it back on the floor, and as he did so a stranger glared at him and shouted “don’t litter.” He considered a variety of responses, but luckily the streetcar was at his stop, so he just ignored the stranger’s indignant outcry and made his way to the exit. The stranger kept shouting long after he had left. But that was neither here nor there.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">When he entered the lobby of the hospital he went straight to the hygiene station near the entrance and squeezed a bloated dollop on to both palms, vigorously pressing the alcohol based liquid into his skin. There were light abrasions at the end of his fingertips that stung a little as the substance was absorbed. The abrasions had been the result of a failed attempt to get crazy glue off his skin with sandpaper. Instead of removing the irritating substance the sandpaper just left little cuts between the dried hard puddles of toxic adhesive. He hated crazy glue and tried not to use it often. But there were times when it seemed to be the only solution for the re-invention of a beloved broken object. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">And then he walked to the west end of the main floor of the hospital, took a sharp left, went up the escalator to the second floor, and walked straight down the hall to the elevators, where he stood and waited for one to take him to the ninth floor. After waiting ten minutes for the doctor to retrieve him from the depressing little windowless waiting room, he walked over to the receptionist’s office and asked an employee to let the doctor know that he had arrived. And then he went back to the waiting room and saw his doctor standing there looking around. They saw each other, smiled, and then went to the office together.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">When he put his pants back on the doctor was standing by the window, gazing out at the downtown skyline.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">“Hey Doc, I heard a joke the other day that reminded me of you. You wanna hear it?”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">“No, I don’t think so. Our session is over. I’ll see you next week.”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">“Aw, come on. It’s funny, and very short.”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">“Okay. Tell me, quickly.”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">Just as he was about to start telling the joke the doctor’s phone rang. After a few words the doctor put the phone down and told him that his next patient had just cancelled, so he could take a little more time telling the joke. They both sat down on the couch.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">“So this guy went to see his doctor and his doctor told him that he had to stop masturbating. And the guy said, but why doc, why do I have to stop. And the doctor said, because it makes it difficult to examine you.”</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">He laughed but the doctor just smiled.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">They had a free hour, after the joke, so they just stayed there, in the office, with the door locked. When he put his pants back on his patient was standing by the window gazing out at the downtown skyline, thinking to himself -</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ffe599;">“I’m glad I dropped that filthy transfer and sanitized my hands before coming up here. My father always warned me about proper hygiene, and even though his stories frightened me as a child, they sure come in handy now that I’m all grown up.”</span></div>
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-53572322753874428322014-10-03T23:43:00.002-07:002014-10-04T09:16:42.690-07:00age & innocence<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic2-rlGAKTJ7biScZFK9CT_ZtOYLC0ImpkNxooE-pYPPFvymf2gI-U-yEsHC4To6uYq-6_bM4RdBYUpWYJ7GUHo1n8k-ZmHORhLKpKbl0zJ6uF7Lkt_4Ahv2y3cd_twtXi-RQrcdM4BHc/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic2-rlGAKTJ7biScZFK9CT_ZtOYLC0ImpkNxooE-pYPPFvymf2gI-U-yEsHC4To6uYq-6_bM4RdBYUpWYJ7GUHo1n8k-ZmHORhLKpKbl0zJ6uF7Lkt_4Ahv2y3cd_twtXi-RQrcdM4BHc/s1600/images.jpeg" height="200" width="153" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">age & innocence </span><o:p></o:p></i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">I've got this added tenderness. I never talk about it.</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">It only sneaks up on me every two or three years. It </span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">sounds strange but feels so natural. I know it'll get me </span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">into big trouble. I feel it for a certain kind of other man,</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">For any guy who's even clumsier than me, than "I."</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">Allan Gurganus 'Adult Art' </span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">(from White People; stories & novellas)</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">He didn’t know what shade of blue those loafers had been.
All he remembered was that they were like no other colour he had ever seen
before. All creamy and smooth and matching his American History teacher’s
satiny tie. Maybe Robin’s egg blue, but not really. They lacked the brightness
of robin’s egg, had a softer quality to them, with a little gold buckle across
the arch of each foot - and just a glimpse of matching socks, just a shade
lighter than the loafers. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirGdi1KM4a2fWCeNnFPpqHkP-S6dNUjJtr65JLpLQB4gBQ8HaDLDaU4vxgFDBEIG4Yn126i1TRXyJ8zd4G_xba7OpQWITl0PXm9xd9ITMmtl2XDYRN3LOboaS-cPY_CFG9yRXohoYTXsM/s1600/William-Shakespeare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirGdi1KM4a2fWCeNnFPpqHkP-S6dNUjJtr65JLpLQB4gBQ8HaDLDaU4vxgFDBEIG4Yn126i1TRXyJ8zd4G_xba7OpQWITl0PXm9xd9ITMmtl2XDYRN3LOboaS-cPY_CFG9yRXohoYTXsM/s1600/William-Shakespeare.jpg" height="166" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeXBe78ngpSJ_9AZVtYSI9DmeHqdasJUnJErzQFVONaADfz0x9XiSYasfCvJMBkH86DnwNXGHxIzbYO6UUyKR7CWPq0l4Khlr1Kj0LpskSs2mgIzf_D6eBahfH_prWUvV_4Xm4F8RUGZk/s1600/220px-Samuel_Beckett,_Pic,_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeXBe78ngpSJ_9AZVtYSI9DmeHqdasJUnJErzQFVONaADfz0x9XiSYasfCvJMBkH86DnwNXGHxIzbYO6UUyKR7CWPq0l4Khlr1Kj0LpskSs2mgIzf_D6eBahfH_prWUvV_4Xm4F8RUGZk/s1600/220px-Samuel_Beckett,_Pic,_1.jpg" height="200" width="133" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeXBe78ngpSJ_9AZVtYSI9DmeHqdasJUnJErzQFVONaADfz0x9XiSYasfCvJMBkH86DnwNXGHxIzbYO6UUyKR7CWPq0l4Khlr1Kj0LpskSs2mgIzf_D6eBahfH_prWUvV_4Xm4F8RUGZk/s1600/220px-Samuel_Beckett,_Pic,_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ea9999;">Shakespeare</span></i></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Beckett</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeXBe78ngpSJ_9AZVtYSI9DmeHqdasJUnJErzQFVONaADfz0x9XiSYasfCvJMBkH86DnwNXGHxIzbYO6UUyKR7CWPq0l4Khlr1Kj0LpskSs2mgIzf_D6eBahfH_prWUvV_4Xm4F8RUGZk/s1600/220px-Samuel_Beckett,_Pic,_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">His hair was grey and full, like his wife’s, the guidance
counselor. She told him he could never be an interior decorator because his
math was so bad he wouldn’t even be able to measure drapery material. There was
a tone of indignation in her gruff matronly voice, even when she said the most
absurd and discouraging things. She looked like her husband, in drag. They had
no children and had met in teacher’s college. She had full grey hair too. But
her fashion sense was not as good as his. He worked in make-up at the local
theatre guild and she always talked about the plays he worked on. They both
felt Beckett was too bleak and preferred Shakespeare’s comedies - never really
wanting to see anyone die onstage.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikAOHJ3Dzqw2AjF_oIGOy52f0_UFDejEqhrOpZpkiFoIZAhJSYrd6fhhyphenhypheneSpgqd0jSNSAkp25pWRX-VU8iXLutsCK6fyNlsoUfvHh2L1V1STNDSLMyiHSBg0295j6gU9D3pNF-D_WuB5A/s1600/tumblr_lxyh26godP1qz84n6o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikAOHJ3Dzqw2AjF_oIGOy52f0_UFDejEqhrOpZpkiFoIZAhJSYrd6fhhyphenhypheneSpgqd0jSNSAkp25pWRX-VU8iXLutsCK6fyNlsoUfvHh2L1V1STNDSLMyiHSBg0295j6gU9D3pNF-D_WuB5A/s1600/tumblr_lxyh26godP1qz84n6o1_500.jpg" height="200" width="158" /></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">It was the year Nixon was impeached and the American History
teacher asked the whole class if they thought the President deserved this kind
of treatment. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t understand any of it. Just
sat there embarrassed that he understood so little about the world and barely
passed from one grade to the other. They put him into the trades curriculum,
and one boy awkwardly asked - with a hint of strained teenaged innocence mixed
with an outrageous air of stupidity - he asked him if he had a sister who
looked as pretty as him. He said no, and then went back to spoiling a perfectly
good piece of wood on a treacherous lathe he had no idea how to use properly.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">Richard Nixon</span></i></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">But he was always good in English Literature and they pushed
him through high school, only holding him back one year because he was so small
and bashful, no one would ever notice, and maybe he would grow into himself,
catch up to the others. But everyone knew it would never be possible. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i><br /></i></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i>Carey Mulligan (L) & Mia Farrow (R) as Daisy Buchanan</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i><br /></i></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i> </i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i><br /></i></span></span><br />
</span><br />
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">He was good in English though. They just called it English
then, unapologetically, like it made perfect sense, as if the world only had
one language and all great literature was based in it. His life was like a bad
education system. Shutting out so many things that would become his biggest
concerns as an adult. One teacher altered his whole degrading opinion of Daisy
Buchanan when he spoke up one day in class, against the teacher’s belief that
Daisy was just a superficial creature - and said softly, “She knew, she knew
how awful the world was. So she wanted her daughter to be a beautiful little
fool so she would never know just how terrible people could be, including
herself.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi98falPw2ZnptvtDSArxYEt9OG50y-yrRIcUxfV62hKGKLvnDkRXlHAgSDP37S7TXt65SKlpLFEQm1DKvPuiGPmIP9Jd0kkgsccuImU5QMcpxdDGf3UsoP8TIYgrcNkIyBw7Bn3exgHio/s1600/f-scott-fitzgerald-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi98falPw2ZnptvtDSArxYEt9OG50y-yrRIcUxfV62hKGKLvnDkRXlHAgSDP37S7TXt65SKlpLFEQm1DKvPuiGPmIP9Jd0kkgsccuImU5QMcpxdDGf3UsoP8TIYgrcNkIyBw7Bn3exgHio/s1600/f-scott-fitzgerald-5.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiclFjJCL3nKCYKZ9MmjtgyVl90X-TiAIHAMmOmqtw8PKsz8bRwf3mhQh4uD5UFm9LHf1eQWk2kP1WiMvcl0I5Q-5i5owkI-kJgZgb3enFQW7W-GXmmkSJmCnQbTcjMrUcnXtrXIxkxiQI/s1600/zelda_sayre_fitzgerald.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiclFjJCL3nKCYKZ9MmjtgyVl90X-TiAIHAMmOmqtw8PKsz8bRwf3mhQh4uD5UFm9LHf1eQWk2kP1WiMvcl0I5Q-5i5owkI-kJgZgb3enFQW7W-GXmmkSJmCnQbTcjMrUcnXtrXIxkxiQI/s1600/zelda_sayre_fitzgerald.jpg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">But then, in the mid seventies, it was a very small world in
the midst of his blighted family life and the loss of a tormented parent. The
second world war was barely two decades cold and the rest of that century’s war
years were brewing in places he had never heard of. He watched his father’s
wounds fester in the bottom of empty bottles and unfulfilled loins. And his
mother. She was another short story waiting to be written, by him, over and
over again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">F.Scott Fitzgerald Zelda Zayre Fitzgera</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i>ld</i></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"> “Would you like to come to my house on Friday evening. We
could chat. You’ve had a difficult time since your dad died. My wife will be
out for the evening. We could just have a nice talk.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Innocence was something he wore, like the tight light blue
brushed denim bell bottomed trousers everyone stared at when he walked into the
classroom. Many years later a teacher he had never studied with told him, at a
local bar, “you were so small, and so beautiful then.” The things people say so
long after. He was mildly disgusted by the nonchalance of so many of the latent
thoughts that could never have been uttered at the right time. But there was a
kind of delayed thrill, hearing how he had once been perceived.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">He sat in his American History teacher’s den in a chair near
the fireplace, and they chatted. The moment his innocence burst was when that
great throbbing head of grey hair bobbed suddenly in his lap. He pulled quickly
away and said “no” - nervously, with a subdued shock in his voice, and
remembered his teacher’s words for years after - as he had quickly come toward
him and knelt down, mid conversation - “Well now that I know why you’re here.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">But even then, and through all the years that passed, he
never knew what it was that had been said to make his teacher initiate that
sudden movement from small talk and into his lap. He was eighteen, very small
for his age, innocence was like clothing to him. He just put it on and took it
off, according to the time of day, and barely noticed the change. But he was
always aware of the color coordinates. Blue was his favorite then. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“It’s my wife, isn’t it. If she wasn’t in the picture.” He
nodded - not knowing why he was nodding - and his teacher went back to his
chair. He drove him home soon after. They barely spoke, but there was a kind of clumsy comfort between them. They did know each other in a way that no one else dared
to. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">No one ever asked about the meeting. It was just - what appeared to be - a kindly
teacher taking an interest in a student who had suffered sudden trauma in his
young life. And what had he done wrong, really. Nothing. It just wasn’t in the
cards. But there was something re-assuring in the innocent knowledge that the
next time he went into the guidance counselor’s office she would appear very different to him. There would be no power lost and no power gained - for either one of them. They
were both innocent, for a moment - then - and neither one of them would ever
really know why.</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-39665708581581198662014-09-30T19:52:00.005-07:002014-09-30T21:03:49.847-07:00Collections, Anthologies, Collaborations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">http://www.amazon.com/Flicker-Spark-Contemporary-Anthology-Spoken/dp/0982955391</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">http://www.amazon.com/Medium-Muse-Channeling-Marshall-McLuhan/dp/0985557753</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjczbDbKEpGxtRwvEzQ9ifFDPWPKVnzX9Vjaji5GB02AD3QVDFWZrT-AKO6JGhkPPLkKmKBIqfq-s5YWpgnOed9Mv9Oi2DLR3xVLmkjCmU79oBoMIRLVXdoRqiDr7HK_42dAOwhrlL4OGE/s1600/1551522179_Seminal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjczbDbKEpGxtRwvEzQ9ifFDPWPKVnzX9Vjaji5GB02AD3QVDFWZrT-AKO6JGhkPPLkKmKBIqfq-s5YWpgnOed9Mv9Oi2DLR3xVLmkjCmU79oBoMIRLVXdoRqiDr7HK_42dAOwhrlL4OGE/s1600/1551522179_Seminal.jpg" height="640" width="424" /></a></div>
<br />
<h1 style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial; font-size: 15px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 18px; margin-bottom: 2px; margin-left: -1px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 8px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">
Seminal</span></h1>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">The Anthology of Canada's Gay Male Poets</span></span><br />
<h2 style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: arial; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 15px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">
Edited by </span><a href="http://www.arsenalpulp.com/contributorinfo.php?index=245" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">John Barton</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;"> and </span><a href="http://www.arsenalpulp.com/contributorinfo.php?index=102" style="text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;">Billeh Nickerson</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f9cb9c;"> http://www.arsenalpulp.com/bookinfo.php?index=26</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;">1</span></h2>
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<div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f6b26b;"><i>from Designation Youth (Frontenac House Press 2014)</i></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><i>needles and hay</i></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>(inspired by a scene from the film August: Osage County)</i></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Mother, we have been married such a long time </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">so when you screamed to stop the car </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">so you could wretch into the wild radiant roadside grasses </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">burnt and toasted willowy in the easy baking sun</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I felt compelled to pull your hair from your face with one palm </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">while I rested the other palm on your upper back </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the clasp of your cheap brassiere </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">rigid soft containment </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">like raised warts on slippery hardwood floors of buckled flesh</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">but the side of the car beckoned </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">and I just stood there frozen in the august wind </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">closing my eyes as you ran through rolling hayfields</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">when I finally caught up to you </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the screen door to the car we called a home slammed shut </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the family we pretended to be, with the authenticity of </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">fraudulent fried chicken in solar baked appliances, drove away</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">leaving us behind and left with nothing but </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">that frozen stifling latent summer wind rolled up </span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">in once golden stacks</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">faded red carpets half sick of all our toxic entrances</span></span><br />
</div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">that wind that rings through time</span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">bringing us so much further together</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="font: normal normal normal 11px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">splitting us into needles, dirt and hay.</span></span><span style="font: 12.0px Helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">..</span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-42812814948109655862014-09-26T22:02:00.001-07:002014-10-01T07:12:48.906-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"> </span></span></i></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #c27ba0;">HAND SPLINT </span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #c27ba0;"> FOR LIMP WRIST</span></span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 32px;"><i><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d5a6bd;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d5a6bd;">day
one - Tuesday October 2</span><sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d5a6bd;">nd </span></sup><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #d5a6bd;"> </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: left; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">the
boy on the flute is a fright<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.0in;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">his face is a
horrible sight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.0in;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">when he walks his
knees knock<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.0in;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">it creates such a
shock<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.0in;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">his braces light
up in the night</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Michael’s
doctor’s appointment was scheduled for one fifteen and his poetry workshop
started at two. The bus ride from Vancouver had taken an extra hour due to bad
weather on the Coquihalla. But he still had time for a bagel and some herbal
tea before his appointment at the campus clinic. There were six remaining
manuscripts to go over, and an exercise on limericks and villanelles to
prepare. He could have graded the last half dozen manuscripts on the bus, but
listened to a mixed CD of all girl singers instead. Falling asleep halfway
between Hope and Merritt, he woke up just in time to see the sign advertising
the country music capital of B.C. On his ipod Allison Krauss was just finishing
up <i>My New Favorite</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> and Norah Jones
followed her with </span><i>Come Away With Me</i><span style="font-style: normal;">.
It was 2006 and, much to his surprise, he had made it into the new millennium
with his love for female vocalists fully intact. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
As he opened his
eyes he found himself sweaty and drooling on his own shoulder, softly muttering
the lines to a limerick he had never forgotten, one he had written in high
school English class when he was seventeen. The exercise had involved giving
students the first line, and then they were expected to complete the poem
according to the form they had just been taught, and they were not allowed any
notes. They had to listen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
The point of no
note taking was to insure that the structure of the limerick would be imprinted
on their brains long enough to write one of their own. It was an old-fashioned
teaching strategy, before laptops littered the classroom and memory sticks were
a dime a dozen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
His high school
limerick had something to do with an unattractive yet musical young man whose
face was not a pretty sight. So he had to rhyme the word fright with another
word, and then make up three more lines comprised of one original couplet and
one more rhyming word in the final line that corresponded to the last word of
the opening line. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
He didn’t have a
very scientific, structured brain, and found himself struggling with strict
poetic forms due to the rigid, manufactured quality of everything from the
villanelle to the anapest. But the limerick, that was his favorite, very
simple, very effective, and a perfect form for the comic edge that invariably
seeped into his poetic voice.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Having been a
precocious wordsmith from a very early age, his talent for writing short poems,
that the teacher often thought he had stolen, was quite sophisticated by the
time he entered high school. He once wrote a poem about the rainbow effect of
sunlight on snow for another student and the teacher refused to accept it,
claiming it must have been plagiarized from a poetry book. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Pink is blue is
green is white<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
The colors sifting
through the light<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
They crave the
shafts of absent night<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Pink is blue is
green is white<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
This wasn’t the
poem he had written, just a sudden re-creation form the dregs of his
imagination. But he knew there had been something about the refraction of
colour and a list rainbow tones. At the time, in high school, he didn’t think
it was such a great poem, and had tried to dumb it down for the student he was
writing for, but as it turned out, the student was a pudgy strange looking
little creature with no mental capacity whatsoever when it came to poetry,
among so many other things, so it was a wasted effort and created no small
amount of conflict in the schoolyard immediately after English class. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
“You fuckin’ homo!
I told ya to write somethin’ easy for me to understand. Like about a snowman or
hockey for fuck sake.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
And then the ugly bucktoothed bully
kicked him in the knee. It hurt but could not really be considered much of a
physical injury. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Later in life he
often wished he had kept a copy of the original snow poem he had written for
that hideous, taunting halfwit, but alas, it had been lost to the great vacuum
of unsung literature, sucked up into the not so literary stratosphere like so
much vacuum cleaner detritus. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
He especially
liked vacuum cleaner metaphors for a very specific reason. They were so
efficient, and when they worked properly they could solve the most mundane of
daily problems, ridding one’s self of the excess that surrounded them. Had he
owned a giant vacuum cleaner as a high school student he could have taken it
into the schoolyard and vacuumed up all his shrieking enemies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-align: center; text-indent: .5in;">
*<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
As the bus rolled
into Kamloops, about an hour after waking, he was putting the finishing touches
on a poem of historic and culturally astute proportions about a certain vacuum
cleaner that revealed his penchant for finding the erotic within humourous
semi-autobiographical modes, a style he had cultivated during his late teens
and early twenties, and something he had become known for as a middle aged poet
whose presence at readings was sure to arouse no small amount of laughter from
an amused audience. Michael called his new poem <i>McLuhan’s Bride, </i><span style="font-style: normal;">acknowledging, in the title, that some of his poetic
voice, but certainly not all, came from an extended leap into a joint major in
Cultural Studies and English literature, a leap that had taken up over twenty
years of his life before landing him in the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>groves of a struck him as a comfortable but unstable
academic cul-de-sac. But he had some wonderful memories of his time as a
professional student, and the new poem spoke frankly of one of those memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<i>McLuhan’s Bride</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
Once, at a
graduate student soiree<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
the Professor’s
wife told him <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
that Mcluhan’s wife<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
was afraid of her
first vacuum cleaner</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
clearly shaken, he
hesitated to add <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
that he, on the
contrary, felt little techno based fear<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
when it came to
small appliances <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
and all of the
strained emotional ties <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
they liberate
their lovers from <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">and had, in fact,
experienced a prolonged affair<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt;">late sixties, with his
mother’s first vacuum cleaner<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
an avocado green
Westinghouse <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
amply
accommodating his great pubescent shaft <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
in a most
delightful way</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
stored in the
basement<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
this mechanical
bride<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
this compact
galaxy of carnal pleasure<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
pre-dating certain
groundbreaking <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
post-structuralist
thought <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
stood proud</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
alongside boxes of
old clothes, hunting rifles<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
bewildered WWII
army uniforms<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
broken rear view
mirrors<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
pocket westerns
and his father’s empty Mickey’s stored in heating ducts</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
among the detritus
of lives infused <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
with sex and booze<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
standing squat and
satisfied<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
his thoroughly
modern fully equipped paramour<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
astute and
wild-eyed in ‘her’ stolid ambient purring <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
giving him
uncomplicated joy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
strengthening his
love for his mother </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
her taut brisk
arms pulsing, strong around her fervent breasts of steel<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
pressing that
small appliance into layers of 1950’s synthetic pile</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
the charged erotic
ways of her domestic engineering<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
giving him pure
uncomplicated joy<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
and reminding him
of the ways in which she kept her house in order<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
providing sons and
lovers with the necessary tools <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
to survive in a
world where<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
as Mcluhan once
said;</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
“each of us lives
hundreds of years in a single decade”<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"></span>and<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
“when you are on
the telephone you have no body”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
inspiring one to
think<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
when you are
screwing a vacuum cleaner <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
you have no
conscience, no need of one<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
save the sudden
onset of a short circuit<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
as you engage in one
final perfect act <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
of consummate
industrial self indulgence<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
and the grand
sweep of history<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
that will one day
go the way of<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
items stored in a
musty basement<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
works of art,
mechanical reproductions<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
boxes of old
clothing, hunting rifles<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
bewildered WWII
army uniforms<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
thoroughly modern
fully equipped paramours<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
canisters, astute
and wild, eyeless <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
in their stolid
ambient purring<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
having borne
silent witness <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
to the grand,
eternally pubescent<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
shaft of time</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Michael didn’t
think it would be a good idea to share his new home appliance poem with his
students. Generally speaking, bringing one’s own work into a creative writing
class that one was teaching was frowned upon. He did it the odd time, but due
to the sexual nature of this one, he felt it might be best to show a little
restraint this week. Little did he know, on the five hour bus ride form
Vancouver to Kamloops, as he scribbled the final words of his poem into a
notebook, that quirky written sexuality would be the least of his worries by
the time he arrived in the classroom at two fifteen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
He apologized for
being late and began to wittily improvise limerick exercises from his rough
notes. To hell with Villanelles. They could wait until next week. Under the
circumstances, the limerick was all he could withstand for now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
In the classroom,
despite being visibly shaken by the news he had received at the clinic, Michael
still managed a bit of pseudo-prudish humour by telling students that he would
prefer that they did not use the word Nantucket in their limericks because it
had become such a clichéd occurrence within this particular form. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
Faintly vulgar
innuendoes often managed to work their way into his teaching style. It was
something he couldn’t seem to resist, and on this particular afternoon it
lightened the load of his astounding diagnosis. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
How was this
diagnosis even possible? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
It must be a
mistake. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
But he knew it
wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Although he had told the doctor not
to call him regarding test results over the weekend, she still managed to leave
a message asking him to come to see her at the Royal Inland Hospital during her
weekend maternity ward shift. He had said to her, clearly and emphatically,
that he would be away so there would be no point in having any information
until he returned on Monday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
wouldn’t it have been lovely to have been able to walk over to the hospital,
through the sound of wailing newborns and joyous parents, only to receive grave
tidings from an over eager health care worker with the timing of a rattlesnake
at a baby shower.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
The first thing she
said to him after revealing the results was, “a lot of people are prone to
suicidal thoughts when they first get the news. Perhaps you might consider
counseling?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He
had one gay nerve left, and she was all over it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
She had ruined Michael’s weekend. So
he retorted, as gently as possible, without resorting to an excess
manifestation of his signature sarcasm - yet managing to fill each word with a
subtle, underlying rage over her forgetfulness about his wishes regarding the
results. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: .5in;">
I appreciate your
concern, but no, I won’t be experiencing any suicidal feelings. I am well
acquainted with the immediate emotional effects of this sort of thing and on
several occasions have helped others deal with their initial response. Thank
you for your time. I have to run or I’ll be late for my limerick workshop. I’m
really looking forward to it, especially after you’ve managed to inject such a
strained poetic rhythm into my weekend. I’ll contact you later in the week if I
have any more questions or concerns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As
he walked toward the classroom he thought of how he often liked to alter the
final rhyme of a limerick in order to punctuate the brief narrative with a
slightly jarring tone, bringing faint chaos, and a kind of contradictory
open-ended closure to an otherwise ordered poetic microcosm. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.0in;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;">the man with the lisp is afraid</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;">he hides his rage in a cage</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;">as calm as can be, he makes merrily</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;">concealing his status</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;">regarding HIV</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.0in;">
<!--StartFragment-->
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter Light";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> stay
tuned for </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">day</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">two… of</span></span></i></span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "American Typewriter Light";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f4cccc;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> hand splint <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">for limp wrist</span></span></span></i></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; margin-left: 1.0in;">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-36296543008667583152014-08-30T09:44:00.001-07:002014-08-30T09:50:12.743-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 56.65pt;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH4JlZKMqyxxzkEJRMD0cu1jLSb785MGt7miERYn1kzEU7yr_H7krtbZWANkHdNNRt64HqipBMq6k-oLRfHXLjUUn-C2fw1_GjDyPLAePAY-RqflhtAEAlp0Lp6x9nHgNeN007aCwigC0/s1600/painting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH4JlZKMqyxxzkEJRMD0cu1jLSb785MGt7miERYn1kzEU7yr_H7krtbZWANkHdNNRt64HqipBMq6k-oLRfHXLjUUn-C2fw1_GjDyPLAePAY-RqflhtAEAlp0Lp6x9nHgNeN007aCwigC0/s1600/painting.jpg" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">painting by David Bateman, photo by Dan Bazuin</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">gone to gone quartet- 36 heartbeats</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"> </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">1</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">thinking love might have held you</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the gone of love was long</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">2</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">hoping love might have melted</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the memory of</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">love's throng</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">3</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">meeting love in slowness</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the pace of love stung quick</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">4</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">taking love from the places </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the hand of love prefixed </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">5</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">knowing the syntax of feeling</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the suffix of love left out</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">6</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">greeting the word lost once when</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the third and the twice were in doubt</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">7</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">leaving the rhythm behind you</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the shout of love’s distance pretends</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">8</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">praying for all love’s beginnings </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the middles that stifle the ends</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">9</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">lifting the core wrought by sorrow</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the heft of the verse falls through </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">*</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">1</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">we answered pleasure with promise</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">where keeping had run out of time</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">2</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">we traversed the summit of loveliness</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">where the beauty of heights failed to shine</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">3</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the air left us panting with lightness</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">our hearts were weighted by fear</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">4</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the fusion of souls moved beyond us</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">our darting eyes filled with tears</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">5</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">what of the keeping betrayed us</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the pact of our breath was made</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">6</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">what then could leaving have left us</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the steep of the hill failed the grade</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">7</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">why was the empty of flow</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">over the brim of our hopes</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">8</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">why do the loveliest rathers</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">over reach that upon which we dote </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">9</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">what do the leaves tell the flowers</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">over seasons begging to end</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">*</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">1</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">pulling the ripe out of blossom</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">greening the rot of the ear</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">2</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">corning the ship of the mast on</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the rim of the cob left to rip</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">3</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">plucking the tuft of the cotton</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">wiggling the lobe of the mirror</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">4</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the sound of the food ripe to rotting</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">and the shaft of the lip loses grip</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">5</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">tonguing the lapping falsetto</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">left to the tonsil of cheer</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">6</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">castrating the balls of the diamond</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">filling the ballast by the pier</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">7</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">smirking the spine bald of fear</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">cringing at heart’s lost facade</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">8</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">towing the line left to curvature</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">roping the calves left to leg</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">9</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">keeping the handout palmless</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">robbing the borrow from beg</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">*</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">1</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">twirling the stick in the mud</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">pulled from marshes of sheen</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">2</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">tweeking the pads of the lilies</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">curled by the glint of esteem</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">3</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">thinking love could have bound them</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the plinth of love crumbled on</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">4</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">hoping love should have coddled</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the memory of</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">loves tumbling song</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">5</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">meeting love in retreat</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the backwards of love came forth</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">6</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">raking love from the gardens </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the fingers of love pushed in</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">7</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">knowing the grammar of stealing</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the clause of love fell through</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">8</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">greeting a world lost without us</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">the thud and the splice cut down</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">9</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">leaving the lyric to heaven</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;">when the rasp of love’s stammer distends </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e06666;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-82391435555557106492014-07-21T22:54:00.001-07:002014-09-05T07:17:28.012-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBJ-HHd3k1zmSJEa4UN015WokGcDuaKXiSsy6foeg4AEZEHTRrIPtqu6awRtTeyErz7h4NvvVbvzB42HOW0P_YkJKEJsXx7U18xsq_vhLz3m5aQKHvMbYU1RtJX7wqlfsCvnqXG6GueoQ/s1600/sunset+sky+over+lake+huron.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBJ-HHd3k1zmSJEa4UN015WokGcDuaKXiSsy6foeg4AEZEHTRrIPtqu6awRtTeyErz7h4NvvVbvzB42HOW0P_YkJKEJsXx7U18xsq_vhLz3m5aQKHvMbYU1RtJX7wqlfsCvnqXG6GueoQ/s1600/sunset+sky+over+lake+huron.jpg" height="422" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">I</span></span></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Zapfino;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">ncidentally</span></span></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"> </span></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: 'Handwriting - Dakota'; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: 'Handwriting - Dakota'; font-size: 13px;">I was a humdrum person </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: 'Handwriting - Dakota'; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal;">leading a life apart </span></div>
</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">when love flew in through my window wide</span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> and quickened my humdrum heart... </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: 'Handwriting - Dakota'; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">I was so happy then </span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">but after love had stayed a little while</span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> love flew out again </span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">what is this thing called love </span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">this funny thing called love </span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">just who can solve its mystery</span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"> why should it make a fool of me? </span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><br />
<span style="color: #b1a9d2; font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;">- Cole Porter</span><span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b4a7d6; font-family: Zapfino; font-size: small;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook'; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #45818e;"><br /></span></span>
<!--EndFragment-->
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook'; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">They were
sitting in the kitchen, drinking tea and eating toast, chatting about the
latest incident.</span></span></div>
</span></div>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“It was
embarrassing. I felt very lonely, and a bit ridiculous. And I’ve never really
felt loneliness before, not like that. Up until now it has always been
solitude, never loneliness.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis
concealed his light laughter, and whispered, “It happens to everyone. Don’t
worry about it.” Martin was not at all comforted by his words, and despite his
closest friend’s effort to conceal his mirth he could tell that Dennis found it
all very amusing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“I can’t stop
thinking about how sad it looked, just lying there on the floor, all soft and
broken. It was humiliating.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">As he spoke
he looked closely at the lines on Dennis’s face, and reached over to touch one
of them, his favorite one - just like the old days when they were young lovers
- the line just above the bridge of his nose, the first one he had noticed over
a decade ago. It was deeper now, and cut across otherwise taut flesh like a
tiny ravine - no longer a thoroughfare running seamlessly from above his
beautiful eyebrows to the tip of his long, perfectly shaped, oddly aquiline
proboscis - having become, metaphorically speaking, over the years, a bridge
without bridge. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis gently
took Martin’s hand from his own brow and kissed it - “my dear, dear friend. You
have so much to live for. Try not to let these little things bother you. Let’s
just get ready for our weekend adventure and put the memory of soft broken
things behind us. They’re incidental, just props filling our lives with
material clutter. Forget them.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">But he
couldn’t. Everything bothered Martin in those days. He would fidget and moan,
all by himself, about the smallest things. Nothing seemed to work out the way
he wanted it to, and when he dropped his breakfast on the floor that morning,
all alone in his one bedroom apartment, it just seemed so sad. The plate had
broken into four perfect pieces, like a pie, and the eggs were soft and runny
on the worn out parquet floor.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“You’ve said
it yourself Dennis. You know you have. Food, people handling and eating food.
There is something very vulnerable and sad in that. We can dress ourselves up
and go out to dinner and eat slowly and carefully and appear to be in complete
control of everything around us - the knives and the forks, the spoons and the
wine goblets, the perfectly laundered white napkins. But underneath it all is
such a humiliating fragility, and when something unexpected and catastrophic
does occur, and the food flies, well, there is nothing sadder than the look on
people’s faces. One minute they are enjoying a meal and the next minute they
are helpless and the menu is all over the bloody place, and more often than not, all over them, and that's the worst of it - on their clothes and their arms and God forbid, all over their face. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">And that is how I felt
this morning, and I need you to take it seriously. I know there are more
important things to consider, but it was </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3; font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';">my last free range egg and my last
garlic poppyseed bagel and my last packet of ketchup stolen from Wendy’s, and I
just wanted to enjoy them on my own before I embarked on this annual,
ill-conceived weekend at the godforsaken beach with a bunch of close friends
I’ve grown to barely tolerate. Couldn’t you have just gently consoled me and
left it at that instead of some prosaic little bit of fluff about the memory of
soft broken things. You are such a fucking poet sometimes.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis
laughed out loud and made no attempt whatsoever to ameliorate his friend’s
anxiety and mild disgust.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“You are such
a diva my dear, such a diva. And you call me the poet! Now cut it out and get
ready or I’ll leave without you.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">About an hour
later Dennis left on his own. Martin was nowhere to be found in the tiny
apartment. He must have stormed out. Funny, Dennis didn’t hear the door close.
He just looked in all the rooms, through the glass on the balcony door, and
then sat in the kitchen, finished his tea, and waited for half an hour, and
when nothing happened he looked around and realized his friend was really gone.
Then he heard some shouting on the street ten floors below and he got up and
left, without him.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">*<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“You should
have seen the look on his face. It was heartbreaking. But I couldn’t take it
seriously. It was a goddamn egg on a bagel and he made such a fuss about it.
And the plate broke - it was uncanny - broken in four perfect pieces,
like a pie. I’m sure he’ll call soon and one of us can drive back into the city
to get him. He is such a diva sometimes. But I wish he were here right now.
Dinner conversation is never the same without him.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis had
left Martin’s building by the side door, closer to where he had parked his car,
so he had no idea what the ruckus was all about out front. Probably some
vagrant having a full out fit on the sidewalk. He didn’t approve of the way
Martin always stopped and chatted with them, gave them whatever change he had
in his pockets, sometimes even bills, and he never seemed in the least put out
by their presence and their scavenging ways.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“If people
have not managed their affairs properly then they deserve to suffer.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">When Dennis
had said this to Martin, the week before the egg & bagel incident, it had
served as a liberating missive that Martin would take note of and refuse to
forget for quite some time. Instead of paying Dennis back for the
hundred-dollar loan to get his phone re-connected he freed himself from the
drudgery of a minor debt to someone who didn’t need the money urgently and sent
the cash to a friend who was having a difficult time making ends meet. She had
lost fingers to a crippling form of arthritis and needed extra money in her
hands right away, so she got it and Dennis didn’t. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">It seemed to make sense as
far as Martin was concerned, and it made him feel like a contemporary Robin </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3; font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';">Hood. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">But Dennis was by no means rich, just a little comfortable, for the time
being. Dennis and Martin and all their close friends were in for a challenging
future as gay old men without an excess of resources and no savings to speak
of. For now all they could do was go on living and enjoying whatever they
could. A weekend at the beach in a rented cabin big enough for five, but shared
by the seven of them. Of course, there were the two little tents and it would be
a mad lovely midsummer treat they could ill afford. But now there were only six, and
they spent a good deal of time lamenting Martin’s absence.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Kevin was the
first to speak up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Dennis, you
dickhead! Why the hell did you leave him there in the first place?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis tried
to defend himself but felt sheepish and guilty. He knew it was all his fault.
“I couldn’t find him. One minute he’s in the kitchen drinking tea and eating
toast with me and the next minute he’s gone. I didn’t hear the door close. He
must have just stormed out, quietly, like he does.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Kevin knew
they must have been fighting about something. They always did. “Well you
shouldn’t have argued with him. We all came for him, and now he’s not even
here, and it’s your fucking fault. Asshole!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis wiped
a single tear from his eye and gulped back the rest of his hefty gin and tonic.
“He’ll show up. Trust me. He always does, at the most unexpected moment."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Maev threw
her arms in the air and laughed and laughed and told the two of them to shut
the fuck up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Drink up
boys. We’re having a bonfire soon, and you two are cut off. One hot dog each
and a couple of marshmallows and then you’re both driving into the city and
finding him and bringing him here.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">They knew
there was no point in arguing. She always got her way, Maev did. And who had a
name like that anyway? They were all such inbred waspy creatures. A woman
in their midst, with a mind of her own and the body of an Amazonian huntress -
tits the size of perfectly formed flotation devices - was a welcome
distraction from their whiny ways. Kevin often remarked that they all objectified her and took her for granted, and all she had to say was, "Well sport, men always take me for granted, at least when they're gay I can objectify them too and feel really good about it. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">You're all gorgeous and funny and bitchy and kind and I just love being around you." And then she would kiss Kevin, long and sensuously, and thank God for bisexuality. They all knew that the two of them screwed a few times over the course of their annual summer beach weekend but no one said a word, except for the odd remark over dinner and the obvious misogynist food metaphors, but that was another matter entirely, one that Maev always took complete control of. "You're all a bunch of pussies but at least I've got one. Keep your clams shut while Kevin fills mine!" They were all a little jealous of him even though they had their reservations about what they mistook for his decidedly undecided sexuality. Kevin knew what he wanted, and got it whenever he put his mind to it.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">*</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis
grabbed the gin bottle and exclaimed - his baby-ish bravado trying to hide the fact that he did feel guilty for leaving Martin behind - “Fine we’ll go get him, while you all lounge around here sucking each other's cocks. But not before
sunset. I’m not missing a single god damn sunset for anyone. And I wouldn't mind a blowjob, one for the road, in place of my second gin and tonic. Anybody handy?” They all just laughed but knew that Kevin would give him one in the driver's seat, on the straight and narrow of an empty highway, before they hit the city streets. Maev knew, everyone knew. The orgiastic nature of their seasonal festivities. It was just one of those things - those funny things, that flew in their windows wide, made them happy, then flew out again. What was this thing. They all knew exactly what it was, among them, thriving even in middle age. It was love.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">And the
sunset was just such a breathtaking cliché.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZP6KYpK2L49YVweCsXGr6gn0gMWKeVB_NxVUh83CceyR_bClpfFs-T7SvHwj7DsFp2GDxF1Sp-nBOa4zCwL-H_jdYuc3_igMwnA5HFhg5VP9DQKJ4RtpCR0t-FdWQOJwVZmVqs1SherM/s1600/10488117_10152463004800379_7787652623838608129_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZP6KYpK2L49YVweCsXGr6gn0gMWKeVB_NxVUh83CceyR_bClpfFs-T7SvHwj7DsFp2GDxF1Sp-nBOa4zCwL-H_jdYuc3_igMwnA5HFhg5VP9DQKJ4RtpCR0t-FdWQOJwVZmVqs1SherM/s1600/10488117_10152463004800379_7787652623838608129_n.jpg" height="470" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">The six of
them sat in the sand at the edge of the front lawn and just stared in silence
until Greg broke the perfect scene with his raffish bark. “Will you look at
that eh. It’s bee-you-tee-full. Our Nana always said it like that,
bee-yoo-tee-full, whether she was talking about a great view or the taste of
apple pie. We would take her to a smorgasbord, she always pronounced it
smogasborg, and she’d try one of every dessert, would put them all on the same
plate, and then sit down at the table in the restaurant and pick away at them
all, one at a time, until they were gone, like she was devouring the finest
delicacies on earth, and it was usually just a bunch of green jello cubes and a
tart and a dried up piece of cake.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Billy dove
right in to the middle of Greg’s monologue, like he always did. “You’re
exaggerating you crazy old fuck. I was there. Our Nana was the sweetest woman
on earth and those desserts were delicacies to her, and they weren’t dried up.
She enjoyed them. Don’t make fun of her. And by the way, she hated jello.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“I’m not
making fun. I love that memory. We don’t have the same fuckin memory, okay.
Have yours bitch and I’ll have mine, for Christ’s sake.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Oh you two
just be quiet. Brothers in love. Fuck. You squabble like an old married couple.
Enjoy the god damn sunset.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">And before
Maev was finished admonishing two of her favorite men the last blaze of light
dipped below the cloud and resonated in pale mauve highlights along the edge of
the lake’s blurred horizon. It wasn’t a full sunset because of the clouds
hanging low against the edge of the water. But it was just as beautiful, with
the remnants of the sun giving the top edge of the clouds a piecing outline, like
a line of flames sinking into the west. Gary was the quietest of them all and
no one noticed when he took snapshots of those final moments - the laughing
faces, the loving argumentative glances, the bee-yoo-tee-ful incomplete sunset
and the barely defined horizon line. With a cheap digital camera, blighted by
sand caught in the lens, he managed to capture those sentimental, grainy moments just before
the orange became a soft yellow with hazy shafts of light shooting upward and
making him feel silly because sunsets like this made Gary think of heaven, and
he didn’t believe in heaven. But he liked to take pictures that reminded him of
the things he couldn’t quite grasp - or even begin to imagine being possible.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">*<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">No one knew
who started it, the fire, just after midnight, that burned through the middle
of the wooden steps to the empty cabin just beyond the edge of their rented
property. But they were all afraid they would have to pay for it. The bonfire
had been put out. Sparks would never have flown that far from the beach,
everyone was a little drunk, and Dennis and Kevin had already left for the city
to find Martin a full hour before the flames began. Luckily Billy caught it
quickly and had it out with a small fire extinguisher within minutes. But it
caused quite a stir among late night partiers who ran screaming from their own
little patch of beach to the rental office to disclose their fear that
someone’s cabin was burning to the ground. It could have been so much worse.
They all awoke to the shouts of the rental manager’s wife banging on the front
door of their cabin and demanding to be let in.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"> “I
want you all out of here.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">It might have
been Billy shrieking in his out of tune bass to his favorite lyric, one that he
felt defined this group of people that he loved so much, and was spending the weekend with.
But he did get a couple of bizarre photos of the little porch on fire just
before he doused it. He borrowed Gary’s little digital just after they finished
making out, and grinding against the side of a tree, on their way to bed. They
always flirted but never fucked. Gary headed straight to his room while Billy
lingered outdoors.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“I just want
to take a few shots of the moon. Please.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">He hated
loaning his camera, but he couldn’t say no to Billy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPBI-BsYGGW6gt8snyNzQYkHgrxAydxCSiD3YQzksshC9dU8-_PAXQ1fR8LBFSHTGoqseV8o5DM3qW8e1UJUB0RwyIkuO7iYAb2OOOYgL0nOiytVPLOvoG7iksa6Ld74A5JkQdMgN3YiA/s1600/sky+highway.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPBI-BsYGGW6gt8snyNzQYkHgrxAydxCSiD3YQzksshC9dU8-_PAXQ1fR8LBFSHTGoqseV8o5DM3qW8e1UJUB0RwyIkuO7iYAb2OOOYgL0nOiytVPLOvoG7iksa6Ld74A5JkQdMgN3YiA/s1600/sky+highway.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">As he fell
asleep Gary smiled at the memory of those loud, throaty, ghoulish sounds, made even
more bizarre by Billy’s wavering low voice, making a decidedly butch/femme plea
for membership in their bizarre little clan-<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"> “Sing
around the campfire! Join the campfire girls!” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Yes, indeed,
that might have tipped someone off about the little fire and sent them running
to the rental office with false ammunition. It wasn’t their fault. It was a
match that one of the unknown lovers dropped as they left the empty cabin,
lighting a cigarette and carelessly letting it fall under the steps as he
quietly made his exit with his two unlikely bedfellows in tow. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">It had just
been a tiny illegal bonfire. They shielded it with their beach umbrellas and
only let it blaze for less than half an hour, long enough for a few marshmallows each and
a couple of campfire ditties. But it was enough to make everyone think it was all
their fault, and send them packing in the middle of the night in search of a
motel during a busy summer weekend.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">When Dennis
and Kevin got back to the lake without Martin they were already frantic. The
empty cabin, and the absence of their friends, was just too much for them to
take in. The manager heard them shouting around three a.m. and came running
over to their cabin, still anxious over the fire and his wife’s rage about these
loud, negligent summer guests he always gave a discount for no good reason at
all. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Your friends
are gone, to the Bluewater Motel, just down the road. Tell them I’m sorry, it
wasn’t their fault. I figured it out. There was a little fire. Don’t ask. Trust
me. I won’t charge you the rental fee. Now get out of here. I’ve had enough
summer fun bullshit for one night.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Kevin was
crying by this time and the manager felt bad that his wife had unwittingly put
the blame in the wrong place. He looked sheepish, and very recent memories
filled his heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Okay, get
them. Bring them back here. I’ll give you the weekend free, and next summer
too. Okay? Sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis put
his arm on Kevin’s shoulder, thanked the manager, and tried to comfort his
friend.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“I’ll call
Billy on his cell. We won’t have to go there. They’ll come back, and we can
tell them then. I hope he has it turned on.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">They were
back within twenty minutes. The front room lights to the cabin were all on as
they straggled in, still a little drunk and very tired.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Maev was the
first to speak. “Well, this weekend is really turning out well. Where’s
Martin?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Kevin was
trying to suppress his grief but Maev’s voice always made him emotional, at the
best of times. He just started sobbing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Gary rushed
over to comfort Kevin and blurted out, “What the fuck’s going on? Where is he?
What’s happened? Is he okay?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">If there had
been a staircase in the cabin it would have made Martin’s entrance so much more
thrilling -<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“I’m fine.
But I seem to be the one who always gets called the diva. You bunch of depraved
queens. What on earth are you going on about? I’m fine, see - me, my robe, and all
my luggage, and my very generous picnic basket that I lugged here on public transportation, it was disgusting - we are all perfectly fine, and we’re thrilled to finally be here among all
you glorious assholes.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Martin had
come out of the small bedroom in his underwear, dragging a satin robe behind
him, looking very thin, yet elegant, just at that stage where one looks like
they’ve lost a bit of weight, before the gaunt unhealthy period threatens to
set in. But he would bounce back. He always did, so far.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis’s
first impulse was anger.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“We thought
you were dead you prick. Where the fuck were you when I left the co-op?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“I was on the
balcony shithead.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“You were
not. I looked there. You were gone.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“The roof
balcony. I went to cut some basil to bring up here and when I got back I
figured you just threw one of your random fits and left without me. So I took
the fucking bus. And there was bit of a, well, ruckus, downstairs when I got
back and I couldn’t rush out to find you. It was awful. But I am not going to
talk about any of that. Let’s salvage what’s left of this little weekend
fiasco.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“What
happened?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Someone
jumped. Okay, are you happy now? Someone jumped from their fucking balcony in
the middle of a hot summer afternoon and landed in the goddamn flowerbed. It
was just awful. And the poor victim was just so badly dressed. There, are you satisfied? I told you. And it’s made me feel sick and
I’m going to bed.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Thank God.
We all thought it was you.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“What?”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Dennis
pointed accusingly at the rest of them as he lowered his voice and began to
feel relief and sympathy for the whole incredible series of events. “They all
made us, me and Kevin, go back to the city to find you, and when we got there
some people were still up, sitting on the curb at the front of your place,
drinking and chatting and some of them were crying. We overheard them talking.
We thought they meant you. They were talking about a suicide. They didn’t even
know the person. One of them thought it was you but had no idea where the body
had been taken. So we just came back here, to break the news to everyone.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Oh for
Christ’s sake. You know I’m not suicidal. I took the depression test and scored very high on the
non-depressive side, and I told all of you all about it at the bar last friday.
I just have very infrequent suicidal thoughts. That’s normal. I’ve lived long enough, longer than I expected to. My life has been thrilling. It’s been just great, but I just would like it to end, while I am still moderately young -
quietly, beautifully, like a movie, like a fucking sunset!. But I’m not going to make it end in some broken bloody heap in a poorly manicured flower bed. The poor dear. Oh God. That’s
tacky, and way too glamourous for assholes like all of you to understand.”</span></span><span style="font-family: "Baskerville Old Face";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“You were
just so sad this morning, about dropping your breakfast on the floor.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Yes. I was,
and you were no help, so I just left the apartment to take my mind off of your
very predictable insensitivity and I picked a shit load of fresh basil, in a
cute little basket with a calico napkin to line it. We can have it tomorrow
with tomatoes and bocconcini. I hope someone brought balsamic and olive oil. I
told someone to. I can’t remember who.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Dennis
hugged Martin and whispered in his ear, “I brought the oil and vinegar
sweetheart. It’s all good.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">“Well then,
perfect, I’m making omelettes with fresh salmon, Caesar salad, and cubed canteloupe. We’ll have a very late brunch, around five.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Between bouts
of laughter Maev was yawning, and interjected, as she kissed Martin on the
cheek - “Okay boys, I’m off to bed. This has been a fabulous first evening. A
fire, an unfashionable, faux suicide, and the promise of a delicious late brunch. Nothing
can top this.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">*<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Topping the
events that had already taken place would be difficult, but three secret lovers
were trying to do just that. Topping, bottoming, sucking, kissing, the whole
eight-and-a-half yards. They had jumped up into the little landing at the top
of the burned broken steps and scrambled back into the cabin. Naked on the soft
sandy floorboards where their initial meeting had begun, laughing softly, they
all agreed it was time to turn on their signature tune on the little CD player,
very low so no one would hear. Debby Boone sang out loud and clear, like the
naughty zealot she was raised to be by her Hollywood daddy and her tongues
speaking Mama.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Rolling at sea, Adrift on the
waters.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"> Could it be finally I'm turning
for home?<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Finally, a chance too say,
"Hey, I love you," <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Never again to be all alone.<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">It can't be wrong, when it feels
so right. <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">'Cause you... You light up my life</span></i></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 16.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Their lips
were full and damp as their arms and legs became a triangular bacchanalian
retreat from everything their lives expected of them. It wasn’t unusual, when
they were together, to find more than one member installed in a single orifice.
The cabin was risky but they couldn’t resist. They would just </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">lock
themselves in the back bedroom and let loose, quietly and passionately. It had
always been the same set of cabins, for ten summers now. They thought of
looking into other rentals but this one was known, predictable, comfortable,
and cheap. Only two of them knew that the rates were much higher for other
renters. Their first summer there had started the tryst and it just never let
up. Even as they grew older their lust never faltered. He would even come into
the city once or twice during the winter to see them at their bar and it would
end in a hotel room nearby. It wasn’t something he expected so late in life,
but it was a thrilling respite from the comfort of a small, tourist town life he loved
but was a little bored with. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">Even in </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3; font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';">their drunken summer reveries it was
always safe, more romantic than sexual, more kind than kin. They knew each
others bodies well, and fit together like a womb of forbidden comfort. The grooves and fissures that made their erotic affections complete were carefully and
tenderly navigated with fingers, mouths, flavored lubricant and durable condoms - lips and tongues so
fully integrated into each others bodies it was hard to tell, at certain
moments, who was who. Yes indeed, there was always a risk, but they had felt,
from the very beginning, that is was well worth the effortless effort.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">And after
Martin’s safe return - they saw him from their tents as he straggled in - no
one cared who was absent when Dennis & Kevin returned and the whole misunderstanding was cleared up. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">
</span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">They - the secret lovers - always brought their own little tents and
slept at the edge of the property - just got out of the car after arriving form the motel and fled to their canvas solitudes. And the stocky, sexy, hairy little rental
manager would quietly slip out of bed, like clockwork, his wife of thirty years
sound asleep beside him, and join the unlikely campers in the only unrented
cabin on site, always set aside for their secret rendezvous. They didn't usually do it twice in a single night. And he only hoped, after all the ruckus about the little fire, that
this time he would not light a cigarette and drop the match carelessly under
the broken steps once they had finished making love. Hopefully the snapshots from Gary’s cheap little borrowed digital wouldn’t reveal the names embossed in gold on
the matchbook from the bar that two of them owned together. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Century Schoolbook';">A book of matches - the incidental material trappings of a successful family business. It had its perks - and its drawbacks.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";">
</span>
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook";"><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Times;">
</div>
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #45818e;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-39366960042863711322014-07-01T10:01:00.000-07:002014-07-01T10:45:34.030-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><div style="display: inline !important;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span></i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></i></span></i></span></span></i></span></div>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><div style="display: inline !important;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><div style="display: inline !important;">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">excerpted from a work in progress entitled The Path</span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i>'</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> Ginger '</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i>yellow magic, calming air</i></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> “They waited.</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> The door did not open.</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> The rain did not stop.</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> The darkness made a tent</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> and covered them completely.”</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i> Timothy Findley, Not Wanted on the Voyage</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><i><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Sitting down - silent - on the fiberglass bench, he looked pale as his towel, his reddish hair damp, lifeless. Pressing his knuckles against the hard plastic surface he sat on his fists until his hands turned white - then he lowered his head and stared at the floor of the steam room.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">He could hear someone whisper, with a slight soft giggle in their tone, “Ginger.” He thought he was talking to him. But when he raised his eyes slightly, to see, he decided it was someone making fun of him - or trying to flirt. But the stranger wasn’t talking directly to him. He was whispering to someone sitting beside him, both raising their eyes surreptitiously, thought the mist, trying to catch his gaze, but he never looked up long enough.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Softly - “Ginger.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Flirting seemed like the wrong term for this kind of environment. Making fun of someone’s hair colour seemed far too juvenile for the unbridled pseudo sophistication of a men’s steam room where straight and queer mixed and mingled - few questions asked, even fewer answered.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">It must be flirting - or a bit of both. Flirting combined with slight, titillated mockery. In his experience, some people responded to redheads like that - with a mixture of dread and desire.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">There were eight men, four on each bench. Four more could fit before it filled to capacity, but he didn’t know that because he hadn’t read the sign beside the door - and because he had never been to this particular site before.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Suddenly it all seemed very Christian to him. Four short of an Apostolic gathering, sitting on benches across from like-minded individuals, relaxing after supping, waiting for something that might never materialize, nervous a few resistant non-zealots may be hiding in a small crowd of chosen ‘faggots.’ Loving ‘faggots’ because it spoke of a saucy appropriated muse who resisted hate and all hate stood for. Being christened by droplets from the sweating ceiling of a small chapel like room. It was very religious. All they needed was some church music, or opera. Eh.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">This was the only central location, notorious for its posh, exclusive, over-priced membership plus section with the free coffee, cable TV, complimentary toiletries, and all the towels you could use during a single visit. Lockers for overnight storage, a private sauna, steam room, and workout facility with a variety of weight machines, treadmills, stationary bikes and cardio enhancing trainers.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">He had always just said Y. But he liked the combination of all four letters. Together they sounded like a complete sentence - like a question beginning with the word why and ending with a particularly Canadian interjection - eh.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> “Why Em see, eh?”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> “Because she has eyes.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Or when he would call his best friend - drag name; Angel Lake - to join him on the elliptical trainer at his neighbourhood location closer to the west end river area. ‘She’ would always come in full make-up and hot pink workout shorts, a white tank top and runners with red flashing lights in the soles, her long highlighted bronze hair teased and teasing to within an inch of its life. Patrons made a bit of a stink about her when it all started but she threatened them with litigious glee and they backed off.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Hi. I’m at the Y.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Why?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Why not? Wanna join me?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Why?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Why not? <i>(irritated pause)</i> Get over here bitch. We both need to work out </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">and it’s a lot more fun when you’re here.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">She would arrive twenty minutes later, walk straight to the elliptical trainer, put one earphone in, listen to music and chatter away to him about this that and the other thing - and inevitably, like clockwork, every time they met, at some point she would interject, into the conversation, as natural as can be, looking straight at her depressive, conservatively dressed best friend in his tight white v-neck gym shirt and his Adidas track pants and his white Nike’s -</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> Young man, there’s no need to feel down.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> I said, young man, ‘cause you’re in a new town,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> there’s no need to feel down.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">This predictable contrived repartee always made him laugh, and think of the time, years earlier, when he took his nephews to the waterpark at the community centre in suburban Calgary. They were all just minding their own business splashing around in the big pool with all the families frolicking about. He had just been on a harrowing waterslide with his youngest nephew who screamed with laughter the whole way down the slide, only a few feet ahead of him, prostrate, limbs flailing in a thin layer of water rushing through the huge plastic tunnel.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Always afraid of tunnels as a child, but for some reason waterslides had never bothered him. Until this one. It was unusually dark and he was instantly terrified as he pushed off into a swirling corridor of watery doom - suppressing the urge to scream all the way down. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of his nephew. But when they got back to the big pool and the music competition started he couldn’t resist taking part, prompting all three of his young wards to scurry out of the water and hide in the change room. They knew their uncle was a diva but they had no idea what it would look like in a pool, with iconic musical accompaniment.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Over the loudspeaker, coming from a lifeguard in what looked like a vintage speedo and a jam packed basket that would put the food bank to shame -</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> “The best dancer will win a big prize. Is everybody ready? Get set. Go!”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">And the music began. At first he couldn’t believe his ears. Did these people even know the origins of the song? Apparently not. Moms and Dads, toddlers in their arms, laughing and singing along, pre-teens and even some tattooed older boys and their bejeweled girlfriends hanging off the side of their adolescent beau’s torsos as they all tried to do the best YMCA dance they possibly could.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Village people? This was a full-fledged community of wild water babies gone viral.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">First; arms raised on an angle above your head, straight and tense, bent outwards. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">No slouching. Y? Y not?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Next: that weird heart-like curve of both upper limbs that didn’t really look like an M, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">more like some horizontal pretzel M, but it was the best the human body could muster.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Then the claw-like curve of both arms to make a strange bumpy C-like configuration, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">with your head in the middle ruining the perfect swerve of the arms.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">And finally the triangular shape of upper limbs above the head </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">and joined in a peak with palms extended and fingertips taut and touching. Eh?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Y. M. C. A. … Just go to the Y.M.C.A.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Young man, are you listening to me?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Young man, young man, what do you wanna be?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">By the end of the song he was breathless - would have been sweating had it been on dry land. He looked around and a few people were staring. His nephews were nowhere in sight. As he waded out of the pool he could hear the teenaged squeals of the winners who were on the pool deck beside the lifeguard getting their big prize- a pair of goggles? What a massive disappointment that must have been when a six pack of beer, a boatload of condoms, and a couple of hours in the parking lot in the back seat of an air conditioned car with the pick of the bikinied litter would have been a far more appropriate reward for dancing mindlessly to an anthem-like tune that spoke in guarded narrative strains about the carnal camaraderie of men fraternizing at a once exclusively same-sex site for Christian associates and other like-minded biological male souls and their crucified soulmates.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">But thoughts of past outings with his nephews, two thousand miles away, were the furthest thing from his mind. He was sitting in a steam room he had never been in before, doing something he had never done before, and he was having second thoughts.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"></span><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> “Ginger.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">It was a little louder the third time, probably because there were fewer men in the steam room. Just the three of them - ‘Ginger’ and the two ginger-loving fellows across from him.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">They separated, sliding subtly away from each other on the bench, leaving about eighteen inches between them, just room enough for another body, with a few inches to spare. Then the one on the right rested his palm on the bench, gently patting the empty space and looking straight at Ginger. Ginger didn’t look up, but his eyes were not completely averted. That way the retina and pupil have of turning slightly upwards without much movement in the outer area of the eye - the lid, upper and lower, remaining almost completely still, and the encasing head still too, where eyes reside - just slight vertical movement allowing one to gain enough vision to view the ‘cum-ings’ and goings of something lurid and lovely happening only inches away.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> “Ginger.” Followed by another set of light taps on the bench, from the stranger’s flattened palm.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Nonplussed, slightly ruffled, and very timid, Ginger took his extra towel from his shoulders and rubbed his head. To his unpleasant surprise there were faint yellow streaks on the white cotton cloth. It was the light red rinse he had used in the hotel room the night before. This was embarrassing. If he did what those ginger lovers wanted him to do, fill that empty space between them - and play along, in a parodic tuneful manner, 'killing them softly with his schlong,' so to speak - they might touch his head and discover the secret only his hairdresser knew for sure. He had the right complexion for a redhead. It didn’t look fake. But he couldn’t risk it. So he got up slowly and started to walk toward the steam room door - demurely and with considerable self-restraint.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Ginger. C’mon. Please.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">And then the stranger on the left gently tugged at the second towel that Ginger had carelessly let drag behind him as he tried to exit. Ginger stopped, then turned, then caved.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Sitting between them quickly became a scene from what one might describe as three horny entangled muses out for an afternoon of lust, goodwill and rococo like bodily charm - this way and that way, all akimbo, graceful and skewed in their heavenly sculpted moves.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">The two cohorts kept muttering flattering endearments under their breath, and then it happened.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“What the fuck?”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">The one on the left had run his fingers through Ginger’s hair, trying to subtly guide his head toward his own crotch. But Ginger wasn’t having any of that, and as he quickly pulled his head away he noticed a yellowish tinge on the stranger’s palms.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Are you kidding me?”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">In the steam the reddish hue spread into a thin light amber tone. The mist gave the overall impression of something faint and <i>yellow ''</i>ish- <i>magical</i> and <i>calming</i> - in the<i> air</i>, floating just above the surface of the flesh. A peaceful film of ethereal powder damp and gently winging it through a sweet translucent atmosphere. Like wafts of sacred substance drifting through a church. Eh.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“He dyes his hair, and then you he goes to a steam room. Is he nuts?”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">“Calm down Henry. He’s very cute.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Ginger thought to himself, “I may be the third person but I am not IN the third person. Talk to me, not about me. I’m here, sitting right between you two ginger loving jackasses. Be nice. I’m new to this kind of thing. I usually only engage in this type of behavior in large city parks - in foreign countries, preferably the Mediterranean - or with hookers in expensive hotels in upstate New York - Albany or Syracuse, the odd time Schenectady because I love the sound of that word.”</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Once Henry was calm, the yellow matter wiped from his palm, and the air had grown thicker with bursts of steam that renewed themselves every quarter of an hour, the threesome began again. The left side muse was blowing Ginger, lapping his hard cock like some engorged crucifix, crossed by Ginger’s ample balls, the rest of the priestly object comprised by a finely grown shaft of light hair from the base of his penis to just above his navel. The right side muse servicing Ginger’s butthole with a single index finger thrust fully, with spit, into the tightening sphincter.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Although relatively new to all of this, Ginger took to it like a duck to water, so to speak. He swiftly grabbed his own balls tightly, cupping them in his palm, increasing the pleasurable sensation of having his cock proficiently sucked, stabilizing the array of sensations and focusing on the desired orgasm, his head tilted back slightly against the steam room wall. When he came his eyes were closed and all action on both sides had ended, several seconds before the erotic explosion. He moaned, opened his eyes, looked around. There was no one there.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;">Standing up quickly, slightly stunned by his own behavior, but fulfilled, then sitting back down - silent - on his solid fiberglass seat, he looked pale as his towel, his reddish hair damp, lifeless. Running his fingers through his own hair, pressing his knuckles against the hard plastic surface, he sat on his fists until his hands felt numb - then he smiled, and lowered his head and stared at the floor of the steam room.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> His palms bled yellow,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> nailed by his buttocks to</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> the hard submissive surface</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"><br style="line-height: 1.2em; outline-color: initial; outline-style: none; outline-width: initial;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 15px;"> of the damp spent bench.</span>bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-52257992357478025442014-06-24T06:34:00.001-07:002014-06-24T06:35:49.643-07:00Margaret Laurence and me, convocation, Trent University, early eighties<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtctuiEOOvR5gXVGTxJVuyoHkG8Ef9SGh3auMqBLKyiTBKxoFmwInhKi_B3ZBZcWlbXTxEeYJZ93kKKEkGkZ4oss9QCrbF8hKh-_rMbcJ35ODWG1cFhDE0aylyhHNPQ71hMeCc9rD-CU/s1600/Margaret+Laurence+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHtctuiEOOvR5gXVGTxJVuyoHkG8Ef9SGh3auMqBLKyiTBKxoFmwInhKi_B3ZBZcWlbXTxEeYJZ93kKKEkGkZ4oss9QCrbF8hKh-_rMbcJ35ODWG1cFhDE0aylyhHNPQ71hMeCc9rD-CU/s1600/Margaret+Laurence+pic.jpg" height="221" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-44741092970552014202014-06-24T06:31:00.001-07:002014-06-24T06:31:54.423-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin;">the sound of…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Who can he
lie with who will not see truth<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>ruthlessness
sunk by claret and port<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">What face
will look at fastidious grates<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>traits
fulfilling a season of sport<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Wearing
blasts of penitent craving<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>behaving
in sync with subordinate fashion <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Weeping
with smiles to crucify mirth<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>dearth
of a couplet that erases grave passion<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Waking to
notice lips on a pillow<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>willow
and waddle and wallow and whine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Wincing
with drool over butterfly blood<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>flood
all ducts with very best brine<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Shaping
gaunt patterns of splayed clotted wings<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>winking
lashes with whips of perfume <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sifting
through some of his least favorite things<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>thinking
crashes in unfurnished rooms<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Sinking
dead moonbeams caught by a novice<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>provinces
blinking through summerless suns<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Slipping
through cracks in an abbey less door<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>bores
receiving handbags and guns<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Seeing
thresholds retreat from blonde floors<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>cores
without apples like joy without fun<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Slapping
lame broadloom that settles the score<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>fourscore
and seven times zero plus one<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Carpeting
flasks with moss bellied gnats<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>flats
at seventeen going on twelve<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Camping it
down through featherless hats<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>brats
who govern with heightening elves<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Cooking
one book with a sprig of old thyme<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>crime
unfit for punishment’s rule<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Creaming
the crop of illegitimate rhyme<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>signing
a cheque for hardworking fools <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Croaking
flowers by strangling vines<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>trying
to let billowing shrouds<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Cascading
his larynx with very bad wine<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>winding
through lengths of thinning crowds<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Cochin; font-size: 10.0pt;">Shame at
the thought of a good deed undone<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>fun
for fast fury fellating the proud<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-74156372276197883112014-03-13T00:22:00.003-07:002014-03-13T00:43:28.137-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSeZY2NZPtiZJlNr65OCJ__-NWIdWJEzX3zTfT-AiNYLBEiEwTIWjxgzZsLKLXRcz2pT-jBGg7Id9L-gw_IBr-lqaoFc564mZ7xREBuQSb0AEd26X34ADME4slV1Q1Y0YHJG8bqrajTIo/s1600/MV5BMTQ2ODg2MTIyNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzU2NjgwMDE@._V1_SX214_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSeZY2NZPtiZJlNr65OCJ__-NWIdWJEzX3zTfT-AiNYLBEiEwTIWjxgzZsLKLXRcz2pT-jBGg7Id9L-gw_IBr-lqaoFc564mZ7xREBuQSb0AEd26X34ADME4slV1Q1Y0YHJG8bqrajTIo/s1600/MV5BMTQ2ODg2MTIyNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzU2NjgwMDE@._V1_SX214_.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Colonna MT";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Colonna MT";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Colonna MT";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Colonna MT";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Colonna MT";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">our desire<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Colonna MT";"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">(on waking up with the deeply contented somewhat anxious tangentially over wrought feeling I had
after watching the film ‘Last Vegas’ and thinking that I would just like to see
Robert DeNiro Michael Douglas Morgan Freeman and Kevin Klein give each other one full
frontal passionate kiss before diving back into an interminable homosocial pursuit of
beautiful women)<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">this large teardrop
shape growing
in my stomach<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">throbbing and grey filled
with damp light <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">encased in wet fibrous
darkness heavy
thickness like the skin of a nut <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">softer and more
impenetrable like
rubber balls of loss <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">sinking teeth into
indelible mushrooms sowing
lines of tissue into my gut<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">that I will never
get through as
if the heart held tender morsels<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">thickening my veins with
the stench of my own desire<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">I feel like this when
I watch you careening
through the last lanes <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">of your life treating
women not
like trophies <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">but like trophy stands for
you to place all fear upon<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">to stand there gazing
into her wisdom her
beauty<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">because what is left
of yours you
refuse to recognize<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">your upswept bangs parting
in the middle<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">like a swirl of butch femme butterscotch decay lovely
in its abysmal winsome charm<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">follicles lie there in
that morseled coif of hairy hearts<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">rich with the dense
beauty of
cholesterol and ache <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">as you listen to her
sing and
sing she does <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">there is nothing that
is not beautiful in
this love dirge barely reaching me </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">through chasms of my own indecisive
wiles <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">will never know what
you’re feeling about
life and love <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">because I ran from it before
its teeth sunk into mine <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">having recognized the
clutch of dearth too early </span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">having
decided as a very small child to
forsake familial maturity for <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">a toddlers brand of
crib spent pain so
here we are <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">diapered on the strip
for one last race teardrops
growing in our guts<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">throbbing grey and
filled with light encased
in damp fibrous heaven<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">thick and dank like
skinned nuts soft
impenetrable rubber balls <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">tossing into loss fulsome
dentures sinking</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">through indelible choral mushrooms we
sow and sow and sow and sow<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">and smile and smile
and smile and smile lazy
laugh lines of tissue <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">laced into blood
floppy ribs we
will never saw through <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">when pumped up hearts hold
tender morsels <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">thickening our veins drenching flapjacks and champagne<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">in first world angst with
the lovely lurid scent <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Baskerville;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: orange;">wafting through well
hung arias of
tremoring desire</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg48w-tzWOtmBAk1qSrBZ2NsgOcN0eXaVVYwFQRGSqwk3R9ncPx6HoNxtD0HHGIdYWWBU28is7ZJILaLIP1U-oYvcGHZHp4qLEYY_usBcwWSy9HSCOVJl0ATREcUskITAGfw1HJA_62_pc/s1600/MV5BMTQ2ODg2MTIyNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzU2NjgwMDE%2540._V1_SX214_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg48w-tzWOtmBAk1qSrBZ2NsgOcN0eXaVVYwFQRGSqwk3R9ncPx6HoNxtD0HHGIdYWWBU28is7ZJILaLIP1U-oYvcGHZHp4qLEYY_usBcwWSy9HSCOVJl0ATREcUskITAGfw1HJA_62_pc/s1600/MV5BMTQ2ODg2MTIyNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzU2NjgwMDE%2540._V1_SX214_.jpg" height="640" width="432" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-81195681529126775882014-01-11T13:39:00.003-08:002014-01-11T21:01:11.534-08:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD9RPqGDA_FxQXe0Bz15H_-l6wWbxgSzAT0PezZVBRZb0MOqUykdTqfg6o8NZrESsCjjr3gNed9HM9IYU7corDCyup_13oJva5sQNovNw0uFZk6h54wLqEmgB3EXH1e4ks52YJW4-6S_Q/s1600/10731427-rural-landscape-of-haystacks-on-the-field.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD9RPqGDA_FxQXe0Bz15H_-l6wWbxgSzAT0PezZVBRZb0MOqUykdTqfg6o8NZrESsCjjr3gNed9HM9IYU7corDCyup_13oJva5sQNovNw0uFZk6h54wLqEmgB3EXH1e4ks52YJW4-6S_Q/s1600/10731427-rural-landscape-of-haystacks-on-the-field.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">needles and hay</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">for Meryl and Julia </span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cfe2f3;">(inspired by a scene from the film August: Osage County)</span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">Mother, we have been married such a long time</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">so when you screamed to stop the car</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">so you could wretch into the wild radiant roadside grasses</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">burnt and toasted willowy in the easy baking sun</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">I felt compelled to pull your hair from your face with one
palm</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">while I rested the other palm on your upper back</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">the clasp of your cheap brassiere</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">rigid soft containment like raised warts on slippery
hardwood floors of buckled flesh</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">but the side of the car beckoned</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">and I just stood there frozen in the august wind</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">closing my eyes as you ran through rolling hayfields</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">when I finally caught up to you</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">the screen door to the car we called a home slammed shut</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">the family we pretended to be, with the authenticity of
fraudulent fried chicken </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">in solar baked appliances, drove away </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">leaving us behind and left with nothing but</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">that frozen stifling latent summer wind rolled up in once
golden stacks</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">faded red carpets half sick of all our toxic entrances</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">that wind that rings through time </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">bringing us so much further together</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #e69138;">splitting us into needles, dirt and hay…</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-44361888496074116762013-10-18T10:38:00.002-07:002013-10-18T10:38:45.918-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Roberta<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">After leaving Calgary
six years ago I never saw her again. She passed away last year, in her home
country, surrounded by family, and she had the most beautiful hair I had ever
cut and colored, and I had never cut and colored hair before I met her, or
after. She just assumed I could do it. The fairy flies into the room, and
within minutes of meeting him she looks across the kitchen table, lifts the box
of Clairol with one hand and the scissors with another, and says - “can you do
this for me?” So instead of donning my indignant reaction around the
stereotypical assumptions people have made about effeminate gay men in my
half-century of living, I smile and say, “sure, I’d love to.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">While I massaged her
head with black dye and combed it out in preparation for a sizeable trim, she
would roll cigars from curved sheets of tobacco sent to her by relatives all
the way from the Philippines. When other white family members spoke of her
past, in stage whispers, it was a slightly gleeful kind of exoticizing shaming
that they seemed to take semi-delight in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“She
was born in a prison in China. Her mother was Chinese
and her father was Filipino. They were both
imprisoned for opium dealing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“She has six kids, all girls and one boy. Two of the girls snagged white North American husbands online. The boy’s always sick or in trouble and getting money from his sisters. One of them married a rich guy in Switzerland. All of Roberta’s kids are from the same guy - a married man she had an affair with for twenty years, and she was his wife’s best friend!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">These little tidbits
made me like her more. No one, not even Roberta herself, seemed sure of her
age, but it probably all began somewhere not far from the nineteen twenties.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I met Roberta in
Calgary in the late nineties not long after she had come to Canada to care for
my brother’s youngest son. Her daughter, my brother’s second wife, was a
trained nurse who could only get support staff work in a nursing home and had
to go back to work right after the birth. Roberta was, in a very real sense,
unpaid labour. In a small suburban bungalow for four - there were six at first,
and then seven - she slept in the same bed with her youngest grandson for the
first five years of his life. She was his mother and grandmother, and she was
often made to feel unwelcome in my brother’s home, and from time to time would
leave for extended periods and stay with other friend’s who had left the
Philippines for similar reasons around family and childcare. I always felt that
she tied for first place with my mother for beauty and grace of the hard won
kind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I did her hair. If
I sit and close my eyes and conjure memories from that time the most calming
ones, in the midst of turbulence and relative mayhem, are those monthly,
ritualistic moments with her in the bathroom, my hands feeling the warm water
through the plastic gloves, re-reading the directions from the Clairol box to
make sure I wasn’t screwing up, her face hard pressed against a towel as I
rinsed, the thickness and the blue black darkness of those shiny, lush
follicles, and then the move into the kitchen for the final cut. She was a
patient and appreciative subject, and would make rice and delicious fried pork
for me whenever I - the neophyte hairdresser - arrived. I would make a Greek
salad and she would pick lightly at it, pushing the black olives to the side
and later giving them to her middle grandson who had an over developed taste
for popping many of them into his mouth at the same time and almost choking on
the pits. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We wouldn’t talk a
lot. There was a language difference that made it difficult. But we seemed to
communicate very well. And when my own mother died in Calgary, not long after
moving there with me and adding one more to an already crowded bungalow,
Roberta urged all of us, on the day of the funeral, to refrain from washing our
hair or raking the leaves in the front yard for fear of blowing our souls away
with the dead. It was part of a ritual she never fully explained, and although
I respected it, I couldn’t take part in that one. I’m way too much of a fairy
to deliver a eulogy on a bad hair day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But I could be her
hairdresser. And when I overheard remarks from her to her daughter about how I
was just like a woman, the way I pitched in and helped with all of the wife’s
tasks - without having to question her, or even be wary of her gender politics,
I just decided that this was a very positive thing, and that I would make the
most of it. The sudden loss of my own mother made me acutely aware of how time
just doesn’t stand still long enough for all good things to come full circle
between loved ones before we have to say goodbye.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Long before I met
Roberta I had already made a very conscious decision not to become a
hairdresser, despite the encouragement of the people in my life who felt an
appropriate ‘trade’ would be my lot in life. And over the years I have felt
grateful for my choice. I would have been closer to Sweeney Todd than Miss
Clairol. But with Roberta I willingly and lovingly made an exception that
enriched my life with an unexpected and satisfying routine. Instead of the
demon barber of Fleet Street I was a Steel Magnolia for a short period, and the
blossoms of that memory, that rich and marvelous routine, have never died.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-77358058509193521342013-10-18T10:07:00.002-07:002013-10-18T10:27:42.796-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Steve & Eydie at Loblaws</span></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8fgd91WpH6-UmpMpNz2sD9iCOnvVay6QbwrUOxZnSe9GOUGU51ZmLlir2EYM-eIdopY2lgrZyu-KIfggkFruQyDYBfNuIfw2kVMvjBz3sS1OJOdgrV8mhBk85NWJZPDRCZDm1nVs4bVk/s1600/eydie_gorme_obit_-_p_2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8fgd91WpH6-UmpMpNz2sD9iCOnvVay6QbwrUOxZnSe9GOUGU51ZmLlir2EYM-eIdopY2lgrZyu-KIfggkFruQyDYBfNuIfw2kVMvjBz3sS1OJOdgrV8mhBk85NWJZPDRCZDm1nVs4bVk/s320/eydie_gorme_obit_-_p_2013.jpg" width="213" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was a day like any
other day, inspiring sentences like so many other sentences. Nothing original
about it. In fact, if one were to adopt a literary model it could be argued -
and won - that the day had stolen all of its best lines from so many other days.
But I still got up out of bed, against my better judgment, remembered how to
put on my clothes, and began to prepare for whatever life had borrowed from
other lives for me to experience over the course of the next thirteen
installments of sixty minute intervals all designed to lend order to our
chaotic lives. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQjVMRT1uQMYN0YhUNEULbiBprsEgTnYIerxD5RJ8DuqiAYaVn1O2K5FaaqJ25d3XbLlpyVg1slxN4DK5D3oWYVKp_uZcEloNVQSf_HaZXFdZGTPDRqq-xIL6g0i1etRMZ5Cdzk04hx1Y/s1600/garbo-hat-ninotchka_opt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQjVMRT1uQMYN0YhUNEULbiBprsEgTnYIerxD5RJ8DuqiAYaVn1O2K5FaaqJ25d3XbLlpyVg1slxN4DK5D3oWYVKp_uZcEloNVQSf_HaZXFdZGTPDRqq-xIL6g0i1etRMZ5Cdzk04hx1Y/s320/garbo-hat-ninotchka_opt.jpg" width="251" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was eleven am so
almost half the day was gone. What a difference that makes to twenty-four
little hours, to cut them in half and spare one’s self the luminescent glare of
another god damn sunny morning. I like to keep my sunglasses on the bedside
table just in case the curtains have accidentally been left open and I am
wakened by the unpredictable energy of my least favorite star.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Forgetting how to put
on my clothes has been something that has haunted me ever since I witnessed an
elderly gentleman - in the nursing home where my mother lived - struggling to
put on his sweater. He seemed much too distressed and angry for a stranger to
approach him. At one point he had the armhole over his head. It was kind of an
interesting look, like Garbo in Nintochka with a seamless opalescent veil. I
was about to offer assistance when a nurse came to his rescue. My mother
nonchalantly looked at me and said, “He’s from the third floor, the Old Timer’s
ward.” She always said old timers instead of alzheimers after hearing someone
refer to it that way in a TV movie. I had come over to take her for pizza. She
loved pizza and it was a welcome change from the nursing home food she hated
but I loved. I always finished her meals for her.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So that morning, like
any other morning, I got out of bed, dressed myself, and boiled an egg. My room
mate’s leftover pizza in the fridge acted as an appetizer before the egg, and a
small crystal juice glass, half filled with Prosecco and the other half filled
with a pulpy fruit medley, helped to wash down my elegant impromptu late
morning snack. There had been a faintly sexual and undesignated celebration the
evening before in my room mate’s bedroom and some booze had found its way into
one of my favorite heirloom tumblers - just the right size to act as juice
glasses. Well, actually I poured it in before going to bed, after leaving her
room, so I would have a little pick me up when I awoke. Champagne and fruit
juice at home always make me feel like I’m still in my early thirties and
living in an expensive hotel. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">dressed quickly, in case I forgot how
to put on socks or underwear part way through, or when exactly to put them on.
I have an irrational fear of leaving the house one day without realizing that I
have slipped my underwear on over my trousers. So I dressed at breakneck speed,
had breakfast, put on my hat and coat, and went out to greet the day. As I got
off the elevator I looked at the bulletin board in the lobby and let out a
little squeal.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“Shit, not today. I
hate those fucking members meetings.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I only went for the
pizza, and the armed police officer. I don’t like guns, but there is</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">just something about all that bulk, the
tight heavily packed uniform and the ambient bulges here and there with the
little Velcro or domed flaps concealing whatever it is they carry in those
little pockets placed strategically all over their uniforms. The decision to
have an armed police officer present at every member’s meeting had been made by
the board of director’s after a violent altercation between two warring
residents who actually stopped an elevator once long enough to have an
uninterrupted fist fight. It seemed to be the only place on the premises where
their outbursts would go uninterrupted, at least for as long as it took the
fire department to arrive. What on earth would a firefighter do?</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Spray them? But that seemed to be the
order of the day when someone was trapped voluntarily or otherwise on an
elevator in the co-op where I live. In the excitable meeting that prompted the
board to hire police officers they just slapped each other and cried out in
elevated tones and stormed out of the room. I often wondered whether they took
separate lifts back to their apartments or got in the same one and just kept
slapping all the way up. They both lived at the top of the building in side by
side units, one of which had been raided when a former tenant was found to have
firearms. Apparently he threw a small loaded pistol into the street from his
balcony when the police broke down the door. He was evicted soon after and many
residents were up in arms - very angry with the board of directors - that he
had even been allowed to live there in the first place. All I could think was,
it must be very hard to design applications and interview procedures where you
can find out for sure whether or not the future tenant might ever be in
possession of an illegal weapon.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The board had also
decided to offer free pizza and soda pop at members meetings. This was done in
order to attract more people and raise numbers to a level that would provide a
quorum and the continuation of meetings designed to pass budgets and other
pressing items on any given agenda. Eventually they had to add a contest for twenty five dollar gift certificates form a nearby grocery store in order to further entice members.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But this particular
meeting, the day of my Prosecco breakfast, was happening at a<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">particularly
inconvenient time. I had forgotten to jot it down and had made somewhat
conflicting plans to go to a late afternoon film that would end only ten
minutes before the meeting started, and the leftover Prosecco in my water
bottle, to consume during the film, that I had stolen from the half empty
bottle my room mate had left in the bathroom sink, would be delightful with
buttered popcorn, but would ultimately exhaust me by the time I got back to the
co-op. But at the end of the day, all things considered, free pizza was not
something I could pass up on my limited budget. So I would rush home and go to
the meeting.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">After the film ended,
a ninety minute romantic comedy about an eighty year old American lesbian
couple fleeing homophobic idiocy to get married in Canada, I went to Loblaws
with my film companion and we reminisced about all the celebrities we had seen
there when it was Maple Leaf Gardens.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“When
I saw Frank Sinatra here he was so out of it he couldn’t even follow the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">lyrics
on the monitor, and he made xenophobic remarks about Kurt Weill’s name when he
sang Mack the Knife, followed by some insipid comment about Richard Rodgers and
the great American songbook. Moron, did he even know anything about Rodger’s
German Jewish heritage, that his original surname was Abrahams, changed by his
father, a prominent surgeon in Queen’s, and that Lorenz Hart, one of Rodger’s
greatest collaborators was a lovesick homosexual </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">who
was obsessed with Desi Arnaz and stood up for him when he married </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Lucille
Ball? But when Frank sang My Way I just cried. It was so beautiful, even though
he did seem a little unsure of the lyrics.”</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“And
Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme opened for Frank and she was in such a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">bad
mood. I could have sworn she was drunk the way she lugged herself across the
stage in some horrific watercolor chiffon caftan and said such snippy things to
Steve. I always loved Steve, and Eydie, but she was so off that night”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“And
when I saw Freddy Mercury here I had no idea who he was. A friend made me go to
see his favorite new brand named Queen, and I thought it was such a weird name
for a rock band, but I went because I had such a crush on that friend, even
though he was straight, and dating my best girl friend, and he kind of looked
like Freddy, and had a very sexy moustache and large breasts in high school, so
I couldn’t resist.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“And
Linda Ronstadt, she said during the concert, in between songs, that she was
going to sing another Elvis song after singing Love Me Tender, and I was so
disappointed it was Alison by Elvis Costello and not Jailhouse Rock or Burning
Love.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">As I finished
blathering on about Elvis and Linda I noticed frozen pizza with roasted garlic
and asiago cheese on sale for $2.99. So I stuffed four into the shopping cart
and felt very pleased with the bargain, half forgetting I had already eaten
leftover pizza for breakfast and that there would still be lots more to consume
when I got home.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was a delightful
visit to Loblaws, the former home of Canada’s greatest pastime, hockey, and
countless summer concerts when the ice was gone and the stage was set for
touring acts from all over the world. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Halfway back to my
apartment I suddenly remembered the co-op meeting. I was strolling slowly, a little worn
out from the Prosecco during the movie, and had completely forgotten about the
meeting. I began to walk much faster and got there about ten minutes after it
had started. And there they were, six large boxes filled with pizza -</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">one Hawaiian, two pepperoni and cheese,
one vegetarian, and two tomato feta and mozzarella - with cans of Ginger Ale,
Coke, Diet Pepsi, Seven-Up and some kind of carbonated cranberry drink.
Wandering through Loblaws, overwhelmed by the bittersweet cinematic romance of
an aging lesbian couple, I had forgotten about the pizza and now had four
frozen ones in my bag that would be half thawed by the time the meeting ended.
As much as I loved it, pizza was going to be an unwelcome staple of my diet for
the rest of the week. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And as I sat there,
trying not to stare at the beautiful bulky lesbian police officer - I shouldn’t
have, but just assumed she was lesbian because she was a police officer and
very butch, she probably had four kids and a cute skinny house husband at home
for all I knew. But there she stood, instead of the hefty muscular tightly
packed police officer of the biological male persuasion that usually attended
members meetings. I wasn’t really all that disappointed. My faint but notable
bisexual tendencies were given a little air time and I settled into an
unexpected bout of voyeurism while the rest of the room ate their pizza and
listened to a lot of boring shit about budgets and how to discipline your pet
when in public areas in and around the coop - especially on the elevator where
house pets can really pose a problem for anyone terrified of being bitten, or
worse, pissed on, in confined spaces. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And then, for some inexplicable reason,
as I caught the eye of the woman police office, I quickly looked away and then
down at my trousers to make sure I wasn’t wearing underwear over them. Lucky
for me, I wasn’t. That would have been very embarrassing. And as I stared at my
pants, and reached for a slice of Hawaiian on the table beside me, I thanked
god for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and remembered a
performance I had seen by an ex porn star, Annie Sprinkle, where she asked for
an audience member to take her panties off for her before she did a procedure
with a speculum where she let spectators look at her cervix with a flashlight.
I raised my hand, ran up, carefully slipped off her black lace panties with the
pearl below the navel, then slipped them over my own trousers, and pranced back
to my seat. It was an exciting night in my life that I will never forget, well,
so long as I don’t get alzheimers. But sometimes people with alzheimers do
inexplicable things, like wearing a pair of treasured underwear over their
trousers for no apparent reason, even though deep in their brain there could be
imbedded the memory of an especially exciting night of live performance. I also
have a photo of Annie with her right breast on my head and her left breast on
my lesbian friend’s head. She was selling them for five dollars after the show.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That night, after the
members meeting, like any other night, as I readied myself for bed, washing my
face and brushing my teeth, things I often felt too tired to do but always
tried to force myself, at least the teeth since the face isn’t a priority in
the area of health insurance. If the face goes social services definitely won’t
help. If the teeth go they will give a bit of assistance. But as I readied
myself for bed I began to mutter the serenity prayer under my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I
thank God for the small but beautiful way <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">in
which alcohol has touched my life today<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And then of course I
instantly remembered that this was not the serenity prayer. It was my serenity
prayer. I had written it in response to an Ala-non meeting where one of the
participants became enraged that no one seemed interested in listening to their
longwinded diatribe about a philandering lover. It just wasn’t her turn to
speak but that didn’t seem to be an organizing principle she had any time for.
So she stormed out, and smelled of booze the entire time she was there. One
couldn’t help but wonder whether she had mistaken herself for someone
profoundly affected by the behaviour of alcoholics rather than an alcoholic
herself. But that would be her mission perhaps, not mine.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I put my thoughts
to rest with the proper version of the serenity prayer and went to sleep. It
had been a day like any other day. Except, of course, for the pizza.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8034886478587615982.post-63215021325302893382013-10-13T09:33:00.001-07:002013-10-13T09:36:14.645-07:00<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Hortense</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">He knew it would
never happen. But they couldn’t stop him from dreaming about it. So he
dutifully set out the saucer with the piece of fruitcake on it, beside the
glass of Coca-Cola, on the kitchen table. And then he kissed his mom and dad
goodnight and went to bed.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">“Get
me a glass of water.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">The whining sound of
his older brother’s voice wakened him from a deep sleep where he had been
imagining baby dolls and beautiful carriages with himself at the helm, walking
along the street happy and proud to be the new owner of a pram and a lifelike
china infant.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Dutifully, he got up
from his bed, only a few feet across from his brother’s identical bed, and
walked across the hall to the bathroom. He took a Dixie cup from the dispenser
beside the medicine cabinet and filled it with cold water and returned to the
bedroom<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">“That’s
not enough. I want some more. Bring two </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">this
time, and think of something to sing to me </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">when
you get back.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">He would sing Old
Doctor Sun or Sweet Hortense. He liked singing them both, and if the first one
didn’t work then maybe the second one would put his brother back to sleep long
enough for him to have more dreams about all of the things he desired.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Old
Doctor Sun please shine your lovely light<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">On
the sick children, pale children, those who are in pain<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Old
Doctor Sun please shine your light again<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">“More.
I want more. I can’t get to sleep.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Oh
oh oh my sweet Hortense<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">she
ain’t good lookin’ but she’s got good sense<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">I
gave Hortense a diamond ring<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">boy
it was the most beautiful thing<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">She
got married now I’m alone<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">She
gave me back the ring but she kept the stone<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Hortense
has dandy teeth in her mouth<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">one
pointing north and the other pointing south<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">oh
my sweet Hortense<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">she
ain’t good lookin’ but she’s got good sense</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Rain
makes flowers pretty I hear<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">I
hope it rains on her for a year<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">Every
time I kiss Hortense<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">I
always buy a nickels worth of peppermints<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">He could hear his
brother chuckle a little as he fell asleep with the empty Dixie cups lying
crumpled beside his head. But he couldn’t get to sleep himself. Singing to his
older sibling always got the adrenaline flowing and it became a little bedside
performance that took awhile to come down from when it was over. So he just lay
there thinking about all of the excitement awaiting them both when they got out
of bed in the morning and went downstairs.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">And there it was, to
his complete surprise, sitting on the kitchen counter, and when he stood on his
tiptoes and peaked inside he could see the baby’s pale face and rosy cheeks
with a little wool blanket pulled up around its neck. He couldn’t believe it.
They had actually bought him a doll carriage and china doll. He hadn’t believed
in Santa for a few years but they still did the ritual of leaving food out for
him when he delivered all of the gifts from the North Pole. The fruitcake was
half eaten and the glass of Coke was empty. But then he noticed crumbled bits
of dark bread and green and red maraschino cherries on the floor beside the
counter where the carriage was perched, and realized his dad had dropped the
piece of cake and hadn’t noticed. But it didn’t matter. He had what he wanted,
and the next step was to get all dressed up in his winter coat and take that
doll for a nice walk around the neighbourhood in her brand new buggy. But just
as he was heading for the closet in the front hall he heard his brother whining
again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">“Get
me a glass of water” - and he suddenly realized he had in fact been able to
fall asleep again after his medley of Sweet Hortense and Old Doctor Sun. He got
up out of bed, trying to relish the memory of his little doll and carriage
dream, and headed for the Dixie cup dispenser. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #6fa8dc;">He
always wished that Old Doctor Sun would pay more attention to him, and he felt
so sorry for Hortense, the way his brother laughed at her when he sang the
song. There was something about her that - as a child - he couldn’t quite put
his finger on. But he knew she was like him. She was never going to get what
she really wanted, but she would spend all of her life trying to find ways to
feel surprised and delighted by all of the things she did get.</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->
bettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13290969725890141122noreply@blogger.com0